He finally looks up at me again, and he stares, contemplating his words for a bit before he opens his mouth. “I thought … I thought that maybe you’d change your mind, or that our ‘rules’ didn’t matter anymore.”

“How do you think that’s going for you?”

Okay, maybe that was a little mean. But I’m getting annoyed, and I don’t want to be late for class.

“You don’t have to be a jerk.”

“I’m not the bad guy here, Josh. You knew what this was.”

“I’m not saying you’re the bad guy,” he tells me. “I was just hoping for a little compassion.”

“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

His shoulders slump. I’ve never seen him look this defeated. “Yeah … sure.”

I grab my backpack off his desk chair and slip out into the hallway as quickly as I can, walking as fast as my short legs will carry me. My mind keeps racing as I try to process everything that’s just happened, and I rub at my forehead to calm the headache I can feel coming on. And of course, Josh just had to make his declaration two days before we’re supposed to leave for Michael’s wedding. Josh was going to be the buffer between me and my family, the safety net so I could protect myself, but now that’s all gone up in flames.

An entire week spent in Beverly Hills surrounded by the awful people who make up my family. Josh was supposed to be there to save me, to drag me away from my grandparents when they asked about my surgeries, to distract me at the brunches and the rehearsal dinner.

Now I’m going to have to spend a week avoiding both him and my family.

That’ll be fun.

Maybe this is my fault? Maybe I gave Josh too much attention, too much time, too much effort?

No. The more I think about it, the more I can see this as his fault. I never gave him any indication that we could fall in love, that we could possibly be boyfriends, that we’d drive off into the sunset holding hands. Jesus fucking Christ, we’re teenagers. It isn’t that serious.

This isn’t my fault; it can’t be.

Unless I’m just too lovable for my own good.

*  *  *

I think the day can’t possibly get any worse, and of course it does. Between everything with Josh this morning, two quizzes in my final classes that I’m sure I failed, and being so distracted that I forgot to take notes in biology, I’m ready for this day to just end.