“I should probably leave,” I say.

“No, wait!” Josh jumps up. “Please, wait!”

I just stare at him, his eyes wide after the outburst. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him worked up like this. He isn’t exactly the loud type. He’s scrawny, with a little bit of muscle, and height that comes in handy when he plays basketball.

Maybe after things have calmed down a little, I can help set him up with someone, someone who wants the same things he wants. Let’s just hope this other boy doesn’t mind the amount of LEGO Star Wars sets that decorate his dorm room. My eyes avoid Josh’s and instead focus on this huge thing he calls a Y-wing; it had been a bitch to find because apparently it had been “retired.” I had to make an account on some LEGO-selling website just to find it, and we’d spent twelve hours total building the stupid thing.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly.

“Josh.” I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’ve got to get to class.”

“Can’t I get anything from you?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Anything.”

“I’ve said plenty and you didn’t seem happy with that either, so forgive me if I’m a little confused.” I glance at my watch, calculating the minutes it’ll take to get to Mr. Johnson’s English class. I think I’ve got three, and that’s being generous.

“What if we go back?” Josh asks. “What if we just hit rewind, undo the last few minutes, and pretend like nothing ever happened. I take it back, okay? Seriously. Let’s just forget it.”

Oh, how I’d love for that to happen, to be blasted with some laser that would erase both of our short-term memories. But now that I know the truth, now that I know how Josh really feels about this entire situation, there’s no undoing it. I need to pull the plug.

“Goodbye, Josh. I’ll see you at dinner?”

He’s known me for almost ten years, so he should know I’m not behaving any different than usual. He’s always been one to appreciate my bluntness, my ability to tell the truth.

“You’re joking, right?”

“What? It’s not like we’re broken up. I think it’s better if we go back to just being friends without benefits. Or, like, the sexual benefits.”

I know now I should’ve broken it off sooner. I take in the disappointment on his face, the sour expression, and I let out a low groan.

“Josh,” I say, “let me ask you, what did you really think was going to happen?”