“Seems to me you knew exactly what to do with it—or it looked like it in the church alcove that day.”

“That was our first kiss.” Hallie covered her mouth, wiping off that same kiss. “He’d said he agreed with me and that he loved you and wanted to build a life with you, but he wanted just one kiss. Just one.”

“And you agreed?”

“I’d never felt that way about anyone, Lena. Ever. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know . . . what to do.”

“So you thought kissing was the best answer.”

“It was wrong. I know that. I’ve always known that.” Hallie shook her head, her hair falling into her face. “I’ve lived with the consequences. We all have. It was wrong and I made a mistake and if I could go back in time I would warn you. I would warn myself. I would change everything. But I can’t.”

“Warn me?”

Hallie retreated then, her face closing in.

“Hallie, he seduced you the exact same way he seduced me. He used the same Shakespeare quote. The same bullshit ‘we are all one in the stars’ stories. He dug into that vulnerable little heart of yours and made a nest. Just like he did to me.”

“You hate me.”

“No. I don’t hate you. Maybe I did for a time, or at least I tried. But mostly I’ve just been avoiding the pain.” A moment of silence fell between them. Finally Colleen asked, “Was it worth it?”

Hallie stared at her sister for the longest time, as if she had never once considered this question. “I have Rosie and Sadie,” she said. “How could I answer with anything other than a yes?”

“Was Walter worth it, Hallie?”

Hallie’s mouth formed a tight little corkscrew, her eyes closed. “I know it started badly, but we’ve made a life and a good marriage. We have two little girls, Lena, your nieces, who are part of us, me and you the same.”

So of course he was worth it, Colleen mentally finished for her sister. He was Walter with the resounding laugh and the twinkle in his eye. He was Walter who tuned in when you spoke, who remembered everything you loved and then showed up with it in his hands. He was Walter who knew how to touch a woman. He was Walter with the quick wit and the engrossing conversations.

No, Hallie hadn’t needed to answer the question.

Chapter Fifteen

The past beats inside me like a second heart.

John Banville, The Sea