In sixth grade, I walked into the girl’s bathroom. I told everyone it was a dare, but really, I just wanted to see what it looked like in there. I thought there must be something cool since the girls spent so much more time in there than we did in the boy’s bathroom.

I downloaded porn on my mom’s computer and when she found it, I told her it was Heath’s and that she shouldn’t say anything because he was trying to figure out his sexuality.

I hate fishing, but my dad loved it. Every year he’d insist we wake up early on opening trout weekend. He got so excited about it I could never break it to him that I didn’t really wanna go.

When I started dealing, I told myself that it was just a job and that I wasn’t hurting anyone.

I got so drunk one time I peed on Wes’ bed and blamed it on Joel.

I met a girl, a stunning and perfect girl, and I hurt her because I was too selfish to own up to my past. Everything else — the time we spent together and the way you make me feel, it was all real.

You’re my truth, Chloe.

Nathan

I read the letter at least a dozen times before I have to put it away and hustle to practice. I don’t think it’s my imagination that Coach is extra hard on us. We do twice the number of conditioning drills.

Then, she holds Bri, Sydney, Emily, and me back after practice and informs us the supply closet needs to be cleaned out before the weekend. I really want to get out of here so I can go meet my parents for dinner, but as far as punishment goes this one seems pretty reasonable, so I keep my mouth shut and send my mom a text that practice is running late.

Sydney puts some music on while we take out every box from the supply closet so we can go through them. Emily devises a two-day master plan to get the closet cleaned and the rest of us just go with it, letting her be the leader of this venture. Typically, Bri would be the one stepping in and coming up with the plan, but she’s barely spoken and not at all to me.

We pull out boxes and boxes of old stuff. The Valley U beach volleyball program is one of the oldest in the NCAA, and we find tons of merchandise dating back to when it was called sand volleyball instead.

“Look at these tanks.” Emily holds up a yellow sleeveless shirt with blue horizontal stripes. “It looks like a bumblebee costume.”

“Ooooh.” Sydney yanks it out of her hands. “I love it.”

Emily rolls her eyes. “Of course, you do.”