And how could he admit that his family needed the help, how could he be a tattle and a suck-up? Eventually, it would be known to all.

Underneath all this, at the nub, Ben knew that if his debt could be forgiven while he stayed anonymous, then he would tell right away. He had seen Ennis and he would give him away. Yes it would also strike a blow against Ennis’s cruelty, but Ben knew he would trade that away too.

“Ben, you have to decide to be a leader now. You have to put the good of the school first.” There was quiet.

“You didn’t speak up after the hazing fight, and this happened. If you don’t speak up now, who else will get hurt?”

“I wish I knew more.”

“Okay.” Phelps sighed, and the other two could tell that the sigh was partly theatrical. Phelps would be ready to hand this job to someone else when it was time. He sighed again, more privately now.

“Can I ask you something else?” Ben said.

Phelps’s face rebloomed cautiously.

“I know…I heard that my tuition hasn’t been paid.”

Markson’s face paled and he kept very still.

“Ah,” said Phelps, closing his eyes.

“And so I’m wondering—I just want to know where I stand.”

“Ah,” said Phelps. “Okay. Well—”

Ben wanted to apologize for making them all uncomfortable. “It’s just, if I’m going to be asked to leave at some point, I want to know.”

Phelps looked surprised. “Your parents haven’t talked to you?”

“Well, some…”

“Okay. Well, we typically don’t like to bring students into discussions like this.” Ben felt both encouraged and slightly disappointed that there were other students in his position. Phelps continued. “But you wouldn’t be asked to leave. The school has been trying to contact your parents about the option of having you go on financial aid.”

“Financial aid.”

“Right. The school has a certain amount of money set aside for this.”

Ben rested back against the structure of the chair. His parents had had this option the whole time? They’d left him up here with his dread for no reason? Ben wished he could open his anger without these adults looking at him. Then, almost against his will, the relief that he wouldn’t have to leave St. James traveled through him.

And then, unexpectedly, came loss—not being able to just give up the St. James struggle, not being able to surrender and go to public school.