Back The Everything Box
Chapters (42)
  1. DEDICATION
  2. EPIGRAPH
  3. ONE
  4. TWO
  5. THREE
  6. FOUR
  7. FIVE
  8. SIX
  9. SEVEN
  10. EIGHT
  11. NINE
  12. TEN
  13. ELEVEN
  14. TWELVE
  15. THIRTEEN
  16. FOURTEEN
  17. FIFTEEN
  18. SIXTEEN
  19. SEVENTEEN
  20. EIGHTEEN
  21. NINETEEN
  22. TWENTY
  23. TWENTY-ONE
  24. TWENTY-TWO
  25. TWENTY-THREE
  26. TWENTY-FOUR
  27. TWENTY-FIVE
  28. TWENTY-SIX
  29. TWENTY-SEVEN
  30. TWENTY-EIGHT
  31. TWENTY-NINE
  32. THIRTY
  33. THIRTY-ONE
  34. THIRTY-TWO
  35. THIRTY-THREE
  36. THIRTY-FOUR
  37. THIRTY-FIVE
  38. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  39. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  40. ALSO BY RICHARD KADREY
  41. CREDITS
  42. ABOUT THE PUBLISHER

People groaned. Jerry elbowed him in the ribs. “You should have done it back at the site like the rest of us,” he said.

“I couldn’t do it,” whined Tommy. “Those chemical toilets haven’t been cleaned in like a century. It’s like hovering my ass over a chocolate volcano. Who knows when it might go off?”

Steve looked at Jorge, who shook his head.

“Young man, you had your chance and you missed it,” said Steve. “So, now your chocolate volcano will remain dormant until after we’re done. You understand? We’re on a holy mission tonight. You don’t think the Crusaders marching off to war stopped to shit, do you?”

“Actually, I read in a book that most of the first Crusaders had dysentery by the time they reached the Holy Land,” said Janet, Tommy’s girlfriend. “They shit on their horses. They shit in their armor. They shit everywhere.”

“Thank you for sharing that tasteful bit of information,” said Steve. “With luck, we won’t have to resort to anything quite so . . .”

“Baroque?” said Susie.

“Thank you, dear.”

“Damn, Tommy,” said Jerry. “You bought her a book about how people used to go to the bathroom? That’s just nasty.”

“No. I bought her a book about history. She’s the one who remembers the shit parts.”

“Fuck you, Tommy,” said Janet. “At least I can read.”

Jerry laughed. Tommy sulked. Janet slid away from Tommy and sat with her arms crossed.

“Settle down, you kids,” said Steve. “No bickering when we go in. Young Lloyd is nervous as a piglet dancing on a chain saw. He sees us arguing and he’s likely to have his own chocolate volcano blow before we even get inside.”

“Yes, sir,” said Jerry. The others nodded.

They sat quietly, everyone concentrating on the dock’s side door.

“Are people coming to the bake sale on Saturday?” said Susie.

“Are you making your apple pie?” said Jorge.

“You know I will.”

“I’ll be there.”

“You’re a dear,” Susie said.

“We’ll all be there. Right?” said Steve. “One last sweet hurrah before the summoning.”

They waited in the shadow of a twenty-four-hour gym. At ten past ten, Coop said, “Sally. You on the job?”

“Just starting,” she said. Sally closed her eyes and let her mind go blank. Her shoulders relaxed until they hit that loose sweet spot and her eyes popped open again. “Done,” she said.

“No one can see us?” said Morty. “You sure?”

“God. You’re worse than he is,” she said, nodding at Coop.