“Which part of you do you think the Wendigo will eat first?”

“Please. I’m asking you nicely,” said Coop.

When he was twelve, Coop had checked out a book on emergency medicine from the school library specifically to see how many organs a human body could lose and live. It turned out that people needed pretty much everything they had, inside and out. Worse, Coop knew that Phil knew it, and when the poltergeist got bored or nervous it was hard to shut him up.

“Too bad people aren’t more like lizards, huh?” Phil said. “Just regrow a spare leg or lung. But you can’t. No, humans are good at growing bones, toenails, and cancer. That’s about it.”

The problem was, for all his pain-in-the-assness, Phil was actually good at his job. He’d pointed out many of the wards and electronic alarms protecting the mansion, and had even disabled a few so that Coop could break in. Now, if he’d just shut up, Coop would maybe get him an Employee of the Month cup.

Coop’s fingers ached. The wire he was on was attached to the dining room’s far wall with a claw made of cold iron, magicproof and cheaper than a silver one. Only Eurotrash and cowboys still used silver. What a waste of money, Coop thought. Still, someday it would be nice to have some extra cash to toss around on gear and a partner more reliable than a jumpy poltergeist.

“Please,” said Phil. “If you had more money you’d still hire me, because you’re too cheap to splash the cash for anyone else. Isn’t that one of the reasons what’s-her-name left you?”

“Leave my love life out of this and do your job. Look for traps.”

Phil scrambled around some more. “Man, it’s hot in here. Are you hot, too?”

“Shut up.”

“Hey, pal. I’m your partner, remember, and I don’t like your tone.”

“You’re fired.”

“Duck,” said Phil.

Coop lowered his head, just missing a nearly invisible glass needle hanging from a nearly invisible line right at eye level. “Okay. You’re rehired.”

“Goody. Now I can finally get that place in the Bahamas.”

When he had his bearings again, Coop inched along the wire like a worm, in a skintight carbon-fiber suit that hid both his body heat and his breathing. Phil was right—the suit was hot as balls and smelled like sweat socks, but it did the trick. The room’s heat and pressure sensors had no idea he was there.

Now if we could only finish this up and actually not be here, that’d be swell.

Easier thought than done. Bellicose Manor was well known in the criminal world for its curses and traps. That’s why it was such a perfect place to rob. But it made things go slowly. And it was costing him a lot of money.

Phil charged by the hour.