The stranger liked the menu. He liked all diner menus. They were invariably plastic and shiny, and covered in colorful photos of edible delights. He thought of photos as the hieroglyphics of the modern world, which made him think of each menu as a kind of greasy spoon Egyptian Book of the Dead. The menus were a truly perfect system. You didn’t need to be able to read or even speak English. Just point to the jalapeño and salsa omelet with ham and two kinds of potatoes or the bacon and avocado triple-decker burger with wedge or curly fries and you were instantly transported to a sublime, artery-shattering wonderland.

The stranger liked to see how long he could go without talking to anyone on the road. It was a kind of game, like Burn the Church or Sack the City. Not talking wasn’t as exciting a game, but it was one where he could vary the rules any time he liked. Take today. Today, he might just speak to someone. The thought of it was exciting. He looked around wondering who it would be.

A waitress in a red-and-white-checked uniform and blond wig that matched the hair on the life-size statue of Larry’s Large Lad outside the restaurant walked over. The diner was an obvious rip-off of Bob’s Big Boy, a more famous burger restaurant in Burbank, but that’s what had attracted the stranger to it. The diner wasn’t trying to hide its petty depravity. The theft was pure hubris, and the stranger loved hubris.

The waitress’s name tag said CAROLINE. She set down a glass of water on the table and said, “Welcome to Larry’s Large Lad. What can I get you today?”

The stranger smiled and held up the menu. He pointed to a chocolate shake and a steak sandwich that came with garlic fries. The waitress spoke each item out loud as he pointed to it and he gave her a thumbs-up each time to let her know she’d gotten it just right.

“The food’ll only take a few minutes. Can I get you anything else while you wait?” He shook his head, so Caroline moved off with his order.