“Not too awful. You’re more fun at this than Coop.”

“Pipe down, both of you,” said Coop. “How much farther to go?”

Morty looked at the GPS. “We’ll be at the cutoff point in another minute. You might want to strap yourself in. We’ll be digging through rock soon. It might get a little rough.”

Morty was right about most of those things.

The Missile turned on its own when the GPS indicated that it had reached the end of the usable tunnel. From its front end, the Missile extended a plasma cutter and activated its massive drill bit to begin cutting through the pipe and into the earth. When they’d made a large enough hole in the sewer pipe wall, insectlike scooping arms extended from the Missile’s front end, moving away the dirt the drill loosened. The Missile shook, gyrated, and shuddered. It was like riding a carousel made of jackhammers. For the first time in his life, Coop wondered if Phil was right and they should be tunneling away from here.

“This is nice. I’m glad you brought me along, Coop,” said Phil. “Anyone fancy a sing-along?”

Morty looked at Coop. “Is he serious?”

Coop nodded. “It’s what he does when he gets nervous, but he’d never admit it in front of you.”

“Like hell I won’t. Of course, I’m nervous,” said Phil. “I’m as stuck down here as you meat sticks. If you both die, without somewhere to jump to, I get to haunt this tuna can for the next few centuries. How does that sound to you? Scaring earthworms and prairie dogs? That is not what I aspire to. I’m a professional.”

“How did you end up with the DOPS?” said Coop, hoping to distract Phil.

“Like all the rest of you clowns. I got picked up on a job that didn’t go, let’s just say, exactly as planned.”

“No one sold you out, did they?” said Coop.

“No.”

“So who were you working with, Phil?”

“Fast Eddie Lansdale. You know him?”

Morty looked at Coop. “Yeah. We’re acquainted. But why were you working with Eddie? He already has a crew.”

“Why do you think? He was stepping out on them. We had what looked like an easy bank job, so the two of us were going to do it together.”

“An easy bank job,” said Coop. “Meaning it was a setup.”

“Give that man a rubber cigar,” said Phil. “Those DOPS creeps knew we were coming before I got to enjoy Eddie’s symphony of morning farts. He’s not a pleasant person to spend time with.”

“So I hear,” said Coop.

“But we just saw Eddie,” said Morty. “How did he get away?”