“It’s heavy,” he said as he took it. When he looked inside, he smiled. The Magister reached in and pulled out several neat rolls of quarters. “Now we’re talking,” he said. “You got their cash drawer. Excellent. How much did we walk away with?”

“One hundred and six dollars and eighty-three cents,” said Adept Six.

The Magister curled his lip. “It doesn’t put us quite up there with Donald Trump, but it’s better than nothing,” he said.

“Thank you, Dark High One,” said the adept.

“Yes. Thank you,” said the acolyte.

The Magister dropped the cash on the TV tray, which bowed a little under the weight of all the change. “Now, I have a little secret I can share with you,” he said.

Adept Six’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me the Caleximus bunch have the Convocation Vessel!”

The Magister put a hand to his brow. “Why would you even say that? Isn’t that the first thing I’d bring up when you got here? ‘Hello, boys. How was your day? Oh, by the way, get ready for fiery doom because our mortal enemies are about to call down Armageddon on us.’ Don’t you think that would be something of a priority announcement?”

“Sorry, sir. Of course, Dark High One. I’m just a little nervous with the end so near.”

“Sure. It’s understandable.”

“Are we worthy of hearing your secret, sir?” said Acolyte Three.

The adept gave him a look, as did the Magister.

“Don’t do that. Just because he’s a moron doesn’t mean you have to be a suck-up.”

The acolyte looked at the floor. “Sorry, sir.”

“Never mind. Here’s the secret: I know where the Convocation Vessel is.”

The adept and the acolyte looked up at him. “Where?” they said, almost in unison.

“I don’t know exactly a hundred percent where it is, but I have a pretty good idea,” said the Magister. “You see, it turns out your little Twinkie assault did more good than you think.” The Magister looked at his charges, pausing for dramatic effect, though he wasn’t sure they’d know what dramatic effect was if it came in wearing a tutu and hit them both with a Hello Kitty sledgehammer. As seriously as he could, he said, “We now have an agent among the Caleximus heretics.”

“Who?” said Adept Six.

“Oh, no. That’s still my little secret for now. Suffice it to say that after your humiliating attack, he’s lost faith in their false god and is ready to tell us everything we need to retrieve the Vessel.”

“Where is it, Dark High One?” said Acolyte Three.

“A man named Coop has it,” he said.

“Then let’s go and take it from him.”