The group of us sits there, chests heaving as it settles in. We’ve done it.

“Everyone all right?” Seth asks.

“Yes, sir,” I reply, with the others echoing my response. Gingerly, I examine the scrapes on my leg. One or two ooze blood enough for me to see it in the low light, but as I press my hands against the others, they feel shallow. In the back of my mind, I curse myself for not having the foresight to pack any healers’ salves.

The four of us sit in the darkness of the car, letting the uneven motion of the train rock us. To my left, Ox inches closer to me as we lean against the wall. He touches his leg to mine, and the sudden warmth of his body makes me flinch. He draws back.

Skies I curse inwardly. He has no idea why I am so jumpy. My stomach churns with a mixture of confusion, guilt, and nausea from the moving train.

“The skies were good to us, but let’s not get lax,” Seth says. “Keep your weapons close and be ready to disembark anytime. We don’t know if this thing will stop or turn.”

“I’ll take watch, sir,” says Callen. I look up. I can just make out his frame in the darkness across from me and Ox. He has his knees drawn up to his chest, arms resting idly on his knees.

I could be wrong, but it seems like he is looking at me with hurt in his eyes. You made things awkward between us, I think, wanting so badly to be mad. You did this. And we can’t exactly work toward fixing it with the others around.

The fact that I am here, relatively safe and among friends, reminds me of who isn’t. Curling my knees to my chest, I try to remember the last thing I said to Exin. We were never the kind of friends who spend time together solo, but we’d had more than our fair share of meals together with Callen and Vera in the dining hall. I do my best to memorize conversations and jokes he told, no matter how trivial. The words are all sharp now, dense with my desperation to remember.

The thought of sleep overpowers my restless heart. My muscles, fueled by fear and excitement, shiver with fatigue, and my stomach aches. Riffling through my bag, I eat everything that’s left and try to get some rest. The train stops twice more, and each time the wheels screech and scream in such an ungodly way that I almost give up trying to get any sleep at all.