I go to my mother’s balcony rather than the side door, knowing she’ll probably be in her office. I land and am about to call out her name when I hear a small, soft sound that cuts me worse than a new blade.

I hold my breath as I carefully lean forward, enough to see but not enough to be noticed. My mother sits hunched at her desk. The shine of her tears reflects in the nearby candlelight. She cradles something in her hand, and I move forward ever so slightly, trying to get a better look as my eyes adjust. The blackened shapes are familiar, but I don’t realize what they are until I notice the soot clinging to her fingertips.

It’s one of the dolls that I had burned—or thought I had. She must have taken it from the pile at the last second. She holds it as if it is an injured bird. Something fragile and precious. A black dress and shawl hang on a wall hook behind her. Just as the yellow dress I am in hasn’t seen much use, neither has that one. But I recognize it on sight. It is the one she wore the day that we sent my father to the Endless Skies, his body burned on the pyre with the other fallen warriors.

I pull myself out of sight again, biting back my own tears as I press into the wall. Mother. She is the kind of lioness to rouse a person’s spirits with a song, or offer her help before it is asked—a formidable woman but of a softer, kinder strength. The loss of my father nearly broke her, and it took years before she came back. Losing two of the Storm’s End girls has stirred that despair, and now it is rushing forth like a river.

Once news of Prince Tabrol’s illness breaks, she will drown.

I don’t know how long I stand there. Bells ring to mark the hour, and I let the sounds crash into me as I think of what to do. I can’t go inside, put on a brave face, and lie that the children still have a good chance when I know they don’t.

They will have to send more warriors, but a decision like that can take time, as Noam said. What’s more, I can still see them deciding against sending more teams. If Tabrol dies, we’ll need people here to defend the city from the humans if they attack by sea. No, not if they attack. When.

I refuse to stay idle.

If I am going to do something on my own, it has to be now. There isn’t enough time for me to wait and see what the sentinels and king decide. The small prince can’t afford for me to.