“I don’t understand, either, Commander,” I say. I fiddle with the end of my short hair and gaze into the fire. “I don’t know which parts of her story were true. All of it could have been a lie.”

I want to believe that parts of Ellian’s story were sincere, but the only part I feel sure of is that she loves Isla. Is it right of her to keep her daughter away from the Heliana? I picture Bel welcoming his little cousin to a new home, taking pride in teaching her everything she should have been learning her whole life.

“Speaking of not being honest,” Seth says. “Rowan, how did you know that phrase you said on the riverbank?”

A lump grows in my throat. “What?”

“The one about the cure. ‘A petal a year, a stem a season.’ The sentinels told that to the warrior teams right before we were sent out. They didn’t say it when warriors-elect were also in the Tower. You said the warriors-elect were sent to tell the existing teams about Tabrol. The sentinels wouldn’t have needed to share the saying with you to do that.”

Five pairs of eyes swivel to me. “I…”

“Warrior-Elect,” says Seth slowly. “How did you know that saying?”

My title. He used my title. It’s the same nonsense Shirene pulled—using my rank against me. Hadn’t I just fought with them? Walked all day with tired legs and tired limbs—

I am exhausted. And I am done. If I am going to start being honest with everyone in my life, I might as well start now.

I raise my head to hide my fear. “The sentinels are lying about where their information is from. They’ve lied from the start. The scholars didn’t know anything about the cure, but the sentinels knew of someone who did—the deserter, Noam. He’s the one who has been helping us. Without him, we’d know nothing.”

“That’s absurd,” Seth replies flatly. “How would you know if the sentinels were lying?”

“Because Sentinel Shirene told me,” I fire back, making damn sure to emphasize her name. “It was an accident, but she’s the one who let it slip. Once I realized what was going on, I went and found Noam on my own. He told me about the cure and how it works. The sentinels lied when they said they didn’t know where he was. And they had to keep up their lie when they explained how they found out about the cure.”

I let the words pour out of me. If I stop, someone will start to chastise me, and I am done with people thinking they know more than I do because I am younger, or because I haven’t taken the oath. As if that makes a difference with who I am and what I stand for.