“You think I was trying to control you when I told you to stand up to her? I wasn’t.”

“You were, though. You always want to fix everything. Because you do believe you can control things. This is why I never want to be in a relationship. I don’t want to be controlled. I don’t want to be with someone who uses my shame against me.”

“Shame? How is there any shame in this for you?”

She laughed again and pressed a fist into her heart. “The shame, it’s so deeply wedged inside me, it’s part of me. There is no me without it. She’s my mother, Vansh.”

“I know. But you aren’t her.”

“Don’t say that. Don’t write her off. There’s so much to her that you don’t see. She just knows no other way to be. This is all she feels capable of and she’s done the best she could with it.”

He got up and sat down next to her. “Whatever else she did, there is one thing she’s done that no one can fault her for. You.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’m truly sorry for everything today. I’m going to be better. I swear.”

The earnest regret flooding his heart seemed to finally reach her. Or maybe she was just too exhausted.

He wrapped an arm around her and she put her head on his shoulder.

“I’ve been honest with you, Vansh, you know that, right?” she said.

He didn’t want to know what she meant by that, and he refused to acknowledge the hopelessness in her voice. In this moment she leaned into him with the kind of vulnerability he knew took all her courage, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t there for her with his entire body and soul.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

It was a full-time job not letting Vansh’s indomitable hope seep into her. Fortunately, Hari was recovering well. He’d been diagnosed with panic disorder. He also had severe social anxiety and agoraphobia. But he had started therapy and was on medication and as much in love with Vansh as ever. Although Vansh insisted he was more in love with Naina.

The journey was for Hari to find his way to being in love with himself, as Sadiya had said with all her usual wisdom.

Naina searched Vansh’s face across the coffee table as he worked with Hari on something. They were in Yash’s apartment. Yash split most of his time between Sacramento and India’s place, and his apartment sat mostly empty. Vansh had called him to ask if they could use it without giving it a single thought. The way the Rajes always did.