“Well, you just have to show them who’s boss. Get a run at them, yell at them, swat them. And don’t ever let them know you’re timid.”

“That’s easy for you to say!”

The baron laughed again. “Hast du angst?”

“Yes, I have angst!”

“Then bluff your way, Thaddeus. Believe me, these ladies are just big, three-hundred-kilo marshmallows when it comes to courage. But watch out, here they come! Stand over there, and I’ll lead them out into the field.”

Thaddeus hurried over to the point Heinrich had indicated, while the baron called out for the lead cows to follow him, speaking to them by name. They did so, and gradually the barn emptied and the black-and-white holsteins stretched out and made their way single file along the path behind their master. Nothing, it appeared, could have induced them to greater speed even if fire had rained down from the sky behind them, though every once in a while Thaddeus let out with a timid yell of exhortation. Out in front the baron glanced back every few seconds, smiling inwardly, asking himself whether the cows understood the timorous English of the man whose voice carried the weight of a nation in diplomatic circles, yet who was now in fear and trembling to speak with authority to a few dumb beasts. It was not a question he resolved before reaching the gate to the field where today’s breakfast and lunch was awaiting the huge, slow mammals now hungry from their ten-minute trek along the country road.

“Here we are,” he shouted back, walking off to the side of the entrance while the cows, one by one, filed into the field and immediately set off in search of fresh green grass left over from the day before. In another minute or two he was closing the gate behind the last of them.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked.

“No,” admitted Thaddeus, smiling. “Kind of fun, actually. You’ve got to realize, every bit of this is new to me. I feel like a kid again.”

“I know,” replied the baron. “Did you have any trouble?”

“One of the slow ones tried to wander off onto that other lane back there. But I did what you said and just yelled at it and ran a few steps to block its way.”

“Scared?”

“To death! I was sure it would turn and charge me and trample and gore me like the bulls do in Spain!”

“And?”

“The second it saw me, it jumped back in line like you said it would, just like a big baby.”

“I told you, all you have to do is show them who’s boss!”

“I’ll try to remember. If only we could control certain unruly world leaders as easily,” he added wistfully.

German and American walked slowly back to the barn the way they had come.

“Do you want the full bovine experience?” the baron asked.