I scrambled to the shower stall, and then to turn the knob, standing under the cold water still dressed, visualizing the invisible hurt Peter’s skin had left on my mine rinsing away. No other man had held my hand like that since I’d met Matt, and all Peter succeeded in doing was bringing back memories of when I could touch my husband. It was almost too much to process. My back slid against the cold tile, my knees bending as I slowly lowered to the floor. The icy water was easy enough to concentrate on, helping me focus through memories of trudging thick jungle in rainy season, so soaked my clothes felt like extra skin. My chest ached worse than my muscles. Five minutes to sink into despair, and then I forced myself to stand and dry off; to pretend I wasn’t weak enough to be wrecked by the smallest, tender touch of a man.

“Hey,” Trex said as I stepped out of the gym and tightened my belt. “You’re with me.”

We were sent out to the perimeter to pick up some mouthy kids for trespassing, then we split up to walk the facility. Trex asked me to go with him, so we headed down together, watching each other’s backs like always. I trusted my entire team, but with Trex, I felt invincible. Maybe that wasn’t a good thing, but we’d been through so much together, it didn’t seem so farfetched.

We entered Echo corridor, and I didn’t wait to start the boring conversation I knew I’d been brought along for. I was a girl, so my guys automatically thought they could talk to me about other creatures with vaginas—as if I had any clue what normal women were thinking. I grew up with an AR-15 in my hand.

“So? The girl…” I began.

Trex didn’t hide his relief. “Yeah. I ended up staying up and talking with her. Then when I finally went to my room. I couldn’t sleep for shit.”

“Why’s that?”

“Her ex, man. He put hands on her. She ran away, came here with nothing. She knows no one. No family, really. Her dad and brother were killed in an accident a few years back.”

I sighed. His perfect woman sounded like an albatross—a phrase for burden that my cousin Spenser used often when she found herself stuck with a green team during one of my father’s training exercises. If it was anything but war, Trex wanted nothing to do with complicated situations or burdens, and that seemed to describe this woman’s entire life. “Sounds like a lot of baggage, Trex. Are you actually attracted to her, or are you trying to save her?”

When Trex spoke about her beauty, he didn’t sound like himself, and I couldn’t help but let my WTF flag fly.