I grabbed Peter’s shirt and pulled him toward me. He opened his mouth, kissing me deeply. I let him hold me tight, cradle my face, telling me about the years he’d loved me and how he always would in that single kiss. The room was quiet, and I kept my eyes closed. I didn’t want to see Zeke’s face. Finally, Peter released me. “Now you can tell me you feel nothing.”

I looked up at him, tears in my eyes. “I. Feel. Nothing,” I said through my teeth.

Peter’s smile vanished. He stepped back, wounded, then turned and walked out with his head down.

I stared at the door, then finally got the courage to peek at Zeke’s expression.

He tapped Watts’ shoulder. “Let’s go.”

“Wait…” I said, pulling on him. I pointed at the door. “I did what I had to do. He called in a favor.”

Zeke swallowed.

“Maybe you should both sleep and revisit this in the morning?” Watts suggested.

“C’mon,” I said, pulling him toward the bedroom.

He stopped. “I’ll sleep it off at the hotel. I should go before I say something I’ll regret.”

“Say it,” I begged. “Say what you want, just stay.”

He wiped his nose with his knuckle and sniffed. “Yeah, not going to happen.”

“You saw it! You know why! After I told him it was never going to happen, he asked me to kiss him so we’d know, like when we were kids. I told him no. He called in his favor. I have to walk a fine line with him, Zeke. Peter brought us here to keep me close. My friends’ jobs are on the line. Harbinger’s boys have been in school less than a year. Kitsch is just getting settled in. Martinez and Sloan are both seeing someone.” I pointed at Watts. “Randon is in love with my cousin. How many new relationships do you know that last through fire season?”

Watts frowned. “Kansas won’t visit?”

“You think I’m scary? You don’t want her in Colorado. When she finds out about all of this, if she gets within fifty miles of Peter she’ll come after him. Probably maim him for life and leave no evidence. She gives zero fucks when it comes to her family.”

“Then turn Peter in,” Zeke said.

“You have no clue how this works. It’s politics. He holds all the cards. He brought us here and just like that”—I snapped—“he can send us packing. This is the first job where we could feel like we’re not living a lie, that our families could live with too. There is nothing else Harbinger can do like this where he can go home to his family every night. We aren’t built for anything else. If I have to play the game with Peter, that’s a price I’ll have to pay.”