This continued for another half-hour or so, during which time she picked on former Big Brother contestants, Holocaust deniers, @SalmanRushdie , Tories, the Welsh, fans of Ariana Grande, cyclists, eco warriors, and, for no particular reason other than she felt like it, the British Bird Lovers Society, before she returned to where she’d started and began reading some of the replies to the messages she’d posted earlier, most of which were just as abusive as hers and gave her an opportunity to feign outrage. A familiar surge of excitement built inside her body, as it always did after spending time on Twitter, starting at her crotch, and she pressed her left hand between her legs, touching herself as she searched for @GretaThunberg and told her that the world was going to end before she was thirty:

@TruthIsASword and you’ll be sorry u didnt have more fun then lol lol lol get laid crazy bitch xxxx

As waves of desire began to take her over, she returned to her list, posting the most outrageous things she could think of. Finally, getting close to orgasm, she arrived at her three favourite targets and began to read their most recent tweets.

From @GeorgeCleverley she selected the following:

What an honour to catch up with Sir Mick Jagger and to learn of his deep love for his eight children. Still rocking at 75!

And replied thus:

@TruthIsASword sick old pedo knocking up girls young enuf to be his great-granddaughter bet u do the same u dirty old nasty bbc perv #jimmysavile

From @BeverleyCleverley she chose:

Many thanks to my wonderful readers for giving The Surgeon’s Broken Heart a 30th week on the Top 10 Bestsellers Chart. I write for all of you, not for the critics! xxBC

And responded:

@TruthIsASword u dont even write ur own books u dozy old cow doubt u even read dem

And finally, she opened up the Twitter profile for her boyfriend, @Wilkes4Love. His most recent tweet mentioned the plight of a homeless man who’d been pissed on by a group of teenagers after a drunken night out and related how he had wept upon hearing what they’d done, vowing not to urinate for twenty hours in solidarity. As her body began to shiver into orgasm, Elizabeth typed the following:

@TruthIsASword u never get tired telling the world how virtuous u are do u i hear u like ur women 2 shag u up de arse with a rolling pin and call u betty lolz

She stared at her post for a few moments, watching and hoping, and when a reply appeared, she jumped on it like a starving man at a buffet:

@Wilkes4Love What a vile thing to suggest. Seek help. Peace and love. #BeKind

At which point, she came.