‘Parents let you out on a school night, did they?’ she asked.

‘Fuck off,’ he said, flashing her the pearly whites too. She wasn’t much older than him, and she laughed, already smitten.

‘One rum and Coke,’ said Jeremy, returning to the table and putting the drink down before him, along with another pint for himself.

‘Thanks a lot, Mr Arlo.’

‘Please, call me Jeremy. Calling me Mr Arlo makes me sound like your teacher.’

‘Oh yeah?’ asked Achilles, taking a sip from his drink; to his annoyance, the barmaid had gone light on the rum and heavy on the Coke. ‘Is that what you’d like, then? To be my teacher?’

‘No, no,’ said Jeremy, shaking his head quickly and blushing. ‘No, I didn’t mean anything along those lines. You’ve got me all wrong.’

‘I was just joking,’ said Achilles, regretting what he’d said. It was far too soon to indulge in any flirtatious teasing. He needed to put the mark at ease. ‘Sorry.’

‘I just wouldn’t want you to think that … Well, this is very unusual, of course. It’s certainly not something that I’ve ever done before.’

‘Me neither,’ said Achilles, the lie slipping out without any particular effort on his part. ‘Actually, to tell you the truth, I’m a bit nervous too.’

‘Well, please let me say from the outset,’ said Jeremy, ‘that if you feel uncomfortable at any time, then you must leave. I don’t want you to think that I’m keeping you here against your will.’

‘Of course. You’re a Guinness man, I see,’ he said, nodding at Jeremy’s pint.

‘I’m not much of a drinker at the best of times, to be honest. But tonight, well, I thought it might take the edge off.’

‘I like my rum and Cokes,’ said Achilles. ‘Sometimes a few tequilas go down well. A beer on a warm day. I’ll drink whatever’s given to me, I’m not fussy. My mum used to put vodka in my bottle when I was a baby to shut me up, or so the story goes.’

‘I remember when I was your age, my father took me to a pub like this for my first drink. He said, “Jeremy, you’ll never forget this moment.” And he was right. I never did.’

Achilles stared at him, waiting for the punchline, but none came.

‘So, have you been using that site for long?’ he asked when the silence between them started to become uncomfortable.

‘Not long, no,’ said Jeremy. ‘Actually, you’re the first person I’ve met from it. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I signed up.’

‘Me neither,’ replied Achilles. ‘I got loads of messages from creeps. Yours was the only decent one.’

‘Oh, I’m glad,’ said Jeremy, looking relieved. ‘Not that you got loads of messages from creeps, I mean. But that I came across differently.’

‘Completely differently.’

‘Obviously, it’s not the ideal way to meet someone.’