‘Only that I wasn’t the only date you had planned for tonight.’

He stared at her, uncertain what she was getting at. She moved towards the door and opened it. Standing in the hallway was Jeremy Arlo.

‘I think you’ve met my uncle,’ she said.

Achilles stared at him. He was holding an iPhone in his hand, recording their entire conversation.

‘Fuck me,’ he said slowly.

‘Actually, I was never really interested in doing that,’ said Jeremy. ‘Sorry to string you along.’

‘Well played,’ said Achilles, nodding his head in appreciation and then giving them a slow handclap. ‘Well played, both of you. I’m very impressed.’

‘I don’t care if you’re impressed,’ said Rebecca. ‘All that matters to me is that you’re never going to be able to do this to anyone ever again.’

‘Let me guess,’ he replied, nodding in the direction of Jeremy’s phone. ‘You’re going to blackmail me now.’

‘I’ve recorded every single conversation since we met,’ said Jeremy. ‘Up to and including you trying to extort five thousand pounds from me.’

‘And now you’re going to demand money from me instead? How much do you want? Twenty? Fifty? I don’t have that much, so you’ll be wasting your time.’

‘No,’ said Jeremy. ‘We need a little more assurance that we’ve put an end to your ways.’

The sound of a car pulling up outside could be heard and all three looked out of the window. The lights of a police car flashed and, as they watched, two officers climbed out and made their way up the driveway.

‘Hurts, doesn’t it?’ asked Rebecca. ‘Thinking someone likes you and realizing they’ve just been using you all along?’

Achilles nodded. ‘Yes,’ he told her. ‘But you know what they say. The trick is not minding that it hurts.’

He looked around the room despondently, recognizing that his time as a small-time con artist had drawn to an end.

‘I’m not even going to get laid, am I?’

‘Afraid not,’ said Rebecca, smiling at him. ‘The sex has been cancelled.’

EPILOGUE: CANCELLING THE CLEVERLEYS

EPILOGUE: CANCELLING THE CLEVERLEYS