Beverley looked utterly bewildered now.

‘Then who is she going to marry?’ she asked.

‘No one.’

‘What do you mean, no one?’

‘I mean, no one. She’s not going to marry at all. She’s going to remain single.’

‘My dear,’ said Beverley in a careful voice. ‘All my novels end with a marriage. They have to.’

‘But why?’ asked the ghost. ‘Why do they have to?’

‘Because they’re the rules!’

‘So break the rules! What if, rather than having your heroine find fulfilment only through marrying a man, she ditched that man as being beneath her and went off to find it in another way? Through her work, for example? Or, perhaps, with another woman? Or with a non-binary—’

‘DON’T!’ shouted Beverley. ‘Just don’t. I’ve had quite enough of that for one week. And it’s not as if anything like that happens in Jane Austen anyway, is it?’

‘No, but you’re not Jane Austen.’

‘Jane Austen wasn’t Jane Austen during her lifetime either,’ countered Beverley. ‘It took time.’

‘Yes, well, I don’t think that’s something we have to worry about here,’ said the ghost sniffily as she drank her coffee.

‘You’re very cocky for such an inexperienced young woman,’ said Beverley. ‘I don’t approve of confidence in an employee. It gives them notions.’

‘I’m not actually your employee, Beverley,’ said the ghost with a sigh. ‘I’m paid by the publishing house.’

‘You are my employee,’ insisted Beverley.

‘Am not.’

‘Are too. Look, I’m not going to play this game with you. It’s beneath my dignity and above yours. The fact is, this just isn’t going to work out. I’m sorry, but there it is. I don’t think I can continue to allow you to be my ghost.’

‘Oh dear,’ replied the ghost, not sounding particularly concerned. ‘What a shame.’

‘Please don’t take it personally—’

‘I won’t.’

‘And don’t let it affect your new-found confidence—’

‘You don’t need to worry about that.’

‘It’s not that you don’t have some talent—’

‘I’m aware of that.’

‘It’s just that we’re not a great fit.’

‘I couldn’t agree more.’

Beverley sat back, feeling a growing sense of irritation. She’d never fired a ghost before, but she’d sacked the occasional cleaner and had always rather enjoyed the experience. It wasn’t that she wanted the ghost to grab the nearest butter knife and make a play for her wrists, but surely a few tears, perhaps even a little gentle begging, wouldn’t go astray?

‘I must say you’re taking this awfully well,’ said Beverley. ‘You do realize that I’m dismissing you, yes?’

‘Well, as much as it’s in your power to do so, yes, I get it,’ said the ghost. ‘And that’s fine. I mean, my contract says that I get paid for every submitted page, so it doesn’t make a huge amount of difference to me either way. It just means that I don’t have to spend any more of my time on this. Although, it has been a positive experience.’