Dr Tataryn rolled her eyes. ‘Ever since he is little boy he is liking the dancing and the fancy clothes and the make-up,’ she said. ‘I want him to be important man. Doctor. Lawyer. Television weather reporter. But no, he spends his days putting the mascara on dolls. His father, he beats him soundly when he is boy to take the evil spirit from him, but it grows, like a fungus between the toes. He says no son of mine is being fudge-packer who sexes the other boys. He would rather die than sit in room and watch him sex the other boys. But I say no, Pylyp is good boy, is nice boy, is just different boy.’

‘Well, he’s not gay, if that’s what you’re implying.’

‘I don’t know this gay,’ said Dr Tataryn.

‘He’s not a homosexual,’ she clarified. ‘Pylyp is quite the ladies’ man, as it turns out. Too much of one, as I’ve recently discovered.’

‘He has many girlfriends, all his life. He is fourteen years old and he is bringing girls back here for bouncy-bouncy. Each day I come home, blood still under my fingernails from brain of some slut, and new girl walking out with love hearts in eyes.’

‘A young man has an appetite, I suppose,’ said Beverley, feeling a little miserable at the idea that she was only the latest in a long line of Pylyp’s conquests.

‘Young girls, women, older girls, older women, grandmothers. He is not caring who he sexes,’ said Dr Tataryn. ‘How old you?’

‘I’m fifty-eight,’ said Beverley. ‘Although most people find that hard to believe.’

‘You fifty-eight? I fifty-two.’

‘You’re kidding!’

‘I never kid. I tell only truth, all the time. Liars must spend their many years in jail, I think.’

‘Well, I suppose I have access to better skincare ranges in London.’

Dr Tataryn frowned. ‘I think I know why you here,’ she said. ‘Pylyp, he sexes your daughter and gives her baby in the belly, yes? And now you say, come back, Pylyp, come marry my slut daughter. Or maybe you want him horsewhipped? You are right to be angry. I provide you with horsewhip, if you like. I keep one in closet for moments like this.’

‘No, that’s not it,’ said Beverley, shaking her head. ‘Although, speaking as a mother, I do have some strong words for him regarding my daughter, with whom he had an inappropriate relationship that he never revealed to me. Look, is he here? As much as I’m enjoying this conversation, I really need to talk to him.’

Dr Tataryn shook her head. ‘He not here,’ she said.

‘Where is he?’

‘Why I should tell you this? Maybe you want to hunt him down and shoot him?’

‘I assure you that I don’t,’ said Beverley. ‘And you were the one offering me a horsewhip a moment ago.’

‘Man put baby in my belly when I am girl,’ said Dr Tataryn. ‘My father, he horsewhip him. Man marry me, though.’

‘I see.’