“That’s rather a strong word for what I felt. I liked him well enough. He was kind and had a lovely smile. The following morning, he sent flowers. The next afternoon he took me for a ride through the park in his barouche. Soon after that my father had a word with him. Very soon after that, Lushing asked for my hand in marriage.”

“And you accepted.”

“I told him I needed to think about it. The Season had been underway for such a short time. It was only May. So much attention was being bestowed upon me by other lords that I was wearing out two pairs of slippers at every ball. I was having a grand time. I knew a good bit of the attention would end once a betrothal was announced. My father was furious. He packed up us girls and returned us to the country estate. I think he intended it as a sort of punishment, to take me away from all the fun, to make me rethink my answer, to remind me that the Season was not a game but had a purpose to it: to see me wed. Two weeks later he and Mother were dead.”

He clearly heard the guilt she harbored reflected in her voice. “Their deaths were not your fault.”

“If I’d said yes to Lushing, we’d have stayed in the city.”

“But now you needed the wealthy duke more than ever.”

“He arrived at the estate without my sending for him. My brother had stayed in London. I sent word to him about what had happened, so I suppose he told others before he returned home. Hours after he arrived, there was Lushing. Winslow was only nineteen, completely unprepared to take on the mantle of the earldom. Lushing saw to everything without being asked. He made all the funeral arrangements, spoke with the solicitor, the vicar, and the undertaker. I’d given him cause to doubt my devotion, yet he became my rock. My fondness for him grew. I told him if he was willing to wait until my mourning period was over, I would marry him. He waited. The following May, one year to the day after my parents died, we were wed.”

“It sounds as though he was a good bloke.”

Another tiny laugh from her. “I don’t know if Lushing has ever been referred to as a ‘bloke’ but yes, there was much goodness in him.” She turned her attention back to the grave. “He certainly deserved better than a wife who would go to your club three nights after he passed. I don’t know what I was thinking, what possessed me to do such a thing.”

He was ever so glad she had, and didn’t want her regretting her decision or avoiding the club in the future. “Who is there for you at night?”