Chapters (86)
- Cover
- Dedication
- PROLOGUE
- PART ONE
- 1.
- 2.
- 3.
- 4.
- 5.
- 6.
- 7.
- 8.
- 9.
- 10.
- 11.
- 12.
- 13.
- 14.
- 15.
- 16.
- 17.
- 18.
- 19.
- PART TWO
- 20.
- 21.
- 22.
- 23.
- 24.
- 25.
- 26.
- 27.
- 28.
- 29.
- 30.
- 31.
- 32.
- 33.
- 34.
- 35.
- 36.
- 37.
- 38.
- PART THREE
- 39.
- 40.
- 41.
- 42.
- 43.
- 44.
- 45.
- 46.
- 47.
- 48.
- 49.
- 50.
- 51.
- 52.
- 53.
- 54.
- 55.
- 56.
- 57.
- 58.
- 59.
- 60.
- 61.
- 62.
- 63.
- 64.
- 65.
- 66.
- 67.
- 68.
- 69.
- 70.
- 71.
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- THEDOWNSTAIRSNEIGHBOR
- Discussion Guide
- A Conversation with Helen Cooper
- Excerpt from THE OTHER GUEST
- 1.
- 2.
- About the Author
- What’s next onyour reading list?
The effects of the carbamazepine were not just increased because of antidepressants and alcohol. The level in Nick’s blood appeared higher than the dose Becca and I agreed to give him because, quite simply, it was.
I was so scared it wouldn’t be enough. Scared that two small white pills would have no impact on tall, broad Nick. So as he was waiting for Mum to get ready, sipping a second beer between ordering a taxi and packing last-minute things, I snuck two more tablets into his drink.
This is the part I’ve never told a soul. The part that might get Becca out of jail, switch our places, reverse the courses of our lives.
But just when I’ve gathered every scrap of courage from every corner of myself, I’ll discover something that changes my whole perspective.
I’ll discover I’m pregnant.
My life will become about that baby instead. I’ll realize that whatever I tried to do for Mum in the past, whatever I know I should do for Becca, it doesn’t compare with what I would do for her, my daughter, my Freya.
71.
STEPH
“Are you warm enough?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want my coat?”
“I’m fine.”
“Is your head hurting?”
“A bit.”
“How much?”
“A bit! That’s as precise a unit as I can give you, Mum!” Freya rolled her eyes but she was half smiling, and both expressions made Steph want to weep with relief. She was back and she was still Freya. Probably shaken and scarred in ways that were yet to reveal themselves, but still Freya. And they were driving her home after the longest ten days of their lives.
Steph thrummed with nerves as they drew close to their neighborhood, gripping Freya’s hand for her own sake now. She and Paul had slept in a cheap hotel near the hospital for the last five nights, wanting to stay close. Now this had the momentous feel of a homecoming after years abroad. Surely everything would be different, strange.
I’m so sorry, she said again, to her daughter and husband, but in her head this time, because Paul had banned her from repeating it. She wanted to say it every day for the rest of their lives, and she was reminded of feeling the same after Becca had gone to prison.