When Auntie Rach arrives to stay with us, the flat becomes instantly cramped. She’s almost as wide as she’s tall, with a shelf-like chest and a frizz of hairsprayed curls. She hands out sorrowful hugs and I let myself lean into the doughy comfort of her body. Becca does the same, but only for a second: clings to her mum, then pulls away as if remembering they fell out before all of this happened. I sometimes wonder how Becca copes with the constant roller coaster of war and peace between her and Auntie Rach. Not to be speaking to my mum, to have her ringing up her sister to moan about what a “nightmare” I am, I wouldn’t be able to stand it like Becca does.

Auntie Rach insists on sharing Mum’s bed with her, saying she shouldn’t be alone. Imagining Mum teetering on the edge while her sister takes all the room would normally make me laugh, but I doubt I’m ever going to find anything funny again. I wonder whether Mum sleeps in pajamas, hides her skin, whether Auntie Rach will spot the bruises. I wonder who has the side of the bed that used to be his.

As far as I can see, Mum still hasn’t cried for Nick. She stares at his things lying around the flat, picks them up and examines them, like pieces of moon rock that have somehow found their way in.

The cause of his death hasn’t been confirmed. The first stages of the postmortem were inconclusive, so now there’ll be a toxicology report. Auntie Rach tells us this one morning, after a phone call from the coroner’s office or maybe the police: I’m losing track of all the people involved. I’ve never heard of a toxicology report but I can guess what one is. I shoot my eyes toward Becca: She’s staring into space, unblinking.

I want to ask exactly what they’ll test for. Exactly how it works. But I press my lips shut, my pulse hopping.

Auntie Rach lays a palm on Mum’s shoulder. “It could take four to six weeks.”

Mum sinks her head into her hands. “What about the funeral?”

“Once they’ve collected all the samples they need, they’ll release his body back to the family. Apparently it’s the analysis that takes the time. We should be able to have a funeral.”