“What’s wrong?”

Ben shrugged, looked sullen. He walked around the room a bit, stretching. “Why do you make me be the one to kiss you all the time? Are you still scared of me?”

Obedient, Ronny put his hand in Ben’s tangled hair. A hollow ache opened in him, sweet but hurtful. Ben was eager, nothing held back, reaching. They eased away from each other and opened their eyes and Ben swallowed and closed his eyes again and they came back together, the intensity startling, Ronny feeling an edge of its violence in Ben or in the air.

“The first time you did that to me I almost punched you. You ought to know I like it now.”

“I was pretty stupid that night.”

“It was just going to be like that the first time, that’s all.”

Ben was wearing a tight black tee shirt with a Harley-Davidson logo. He sat down in the chair and pulled Ronny on his lap. “You think what we’re doing makes me gay?” he asked.

“You’re the only one who can answer that.”

“Bullshit. If I wanted to talk to fucking Buddha I’d have asked him. What do you think? I’m asking you.” His face was clear. This was an important question, plainly, but he was far from being afraid of it. He took the thought like most everything else, like it was a problem he could beat down with his hands, that he could defeat with his body.

Ronny tapped on the edge of the desk, moving the pen there to another angle. “I don’t think you are.”

“Why am I doing this then?” He reached to touch a finger to Ronny’s arm. Some curious tenderness in him. Ronny had never seen this mood before. “You know what I mean. I don’t mean anything bad by asking.”

“Maybe you just want to know what it’s like. Maybe you’ve got a certain amount of this kind of stuff you need to work out.”

“Stuff I need to work out?”

“Sex with me. Being with me. Maybe you just need to see what it’s like for some reason.”

“Maybe.” He had closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Ronny’s.

“If you felt like you were gay I probably wouldn’t like you anyway,” Ronny said.

“That’s fucked up. You don’t like gay guys?”

“I know. I need to fix that. But not right now.”

“Why not?”

Ronny looked at Ben. For the second night he felt this safety and steadiness between them. “Because I want to enjoy it while you’re here. You won’t be here long.”

“You keep saying that.”

“It’s what I think.”

He started to raise his voice and then caught himself and flushed. “Well, stop saying it to me. You’re going to make it true that way.” He leaned down to pull a twig out of his shoelaces and took a deep breath, followed by another.

Ronny pulled off Ben’s shoes, kneeling at his feet, then guided him onto the bed and climbed onto him. As soon as he touched Ben to move him, the big boy chuckled and complied, his expression clearing. Ronny pulled at Ben’s shirt and lifted it and Ben stripped the shirt over his head. “Got to have the body, huh?”