“Vain.”

“Did I ever tell you I saw Wee Neideroff tie his dick in a knot?”

“What?”

“No shit. This was all Tate’s idea. He’s a fucking criminal monster. The guys were giving shit to the freshmen. Anyway, Tate called the boys into the locker room and said he wanted to show them something. And the guys sat down and Neideroff comes right up butt naked and they’re sitting on a bench, these kids, and Neideroff comes up and stands there and takes that big old dick of his and ties it in a knot. I’m not lying. Not a tight knot, you understand. Just kind of loops it. And one kid runs out of there as fast as he can and Neideroff walks around with his dick looped up, like he kind of enjoys it.”

“You guys are insane.”

“So what. We have to be insane.” He rolled off the bed with a heavy thud. “All right. It’s time for you to give it up. Come on.”

Ben was gentle at first, rough pretty quickly after. He wanted another blowjob first, and then when he was ready he put himself into Ronny and they were together moving awhile. Ronny was so lost in being with Ben like this that the fact of what was happening, that this thing was entering him, was simple at first. Then he felt himself opened up, the pain of it, the pressure, and then the sudden pleasure; some part of his mind changed, he passed into a room of himself in which he was stripped of husk after husk of longing, the ache and hollow and echo and pulse of it was everything, the whole universe alive between the two of them. He found himself panting and making noises until Ben put a hand over his mouth. After that he kept the noise down mostly out of terror of Mrs. Delacy coming up the stairs on her blue-veined feet. He tried so hard in fact that Ben burst out laughing at him in the middle of sex and collapsed on top of him on the floor, still moving inside him. “You’re too much.”

“I don’t want to get thrown out my first night.”

“Then you shouldn’t have picked tonight to lose your cherry.”

“Oh, man,” Ronny said. “This is amazing.”

“I thought you’d like it.”

Ben made him bark again and laughed. “This is what God made you for, little bitch.”

“God help me,” Ronny said.

Afterward the house was quiet. Ronny felt emptied, as if his self had poured all over the floor. Mrs. Delacy never came out of her room if she heard anything at all, and there was nothing but a sound of very quiet music from one of the other bedrooms. It was a weeknight but even so the noise from nearby parties was picking up, as was the sound of traffic on Cameron Avenue. Sneaking into the hallway, they saw all the other doors closed. Ben had grabbed one of Ronny’s towels and they walked to the bathroom together, watching each other, their faces still and somber. They showered together in the cramped steel stall, dried off, and came back to bed. By then it was after midnight and Ronny was wondering how much longer he could keep Ben with him. The worst thing to do would be to ask again, so they lay down together side by side. “So, Brainhead,” Ben said, “what’s coming up for you?”