“Whatever we’re going to do, whatever you and me are going to do, has to be now. See? That’s what I mean. We’re going to graduate in a year.”

Ben stirred, pulled his face next to Ronny’s, cheek to cheek, their bodies twined along the bed. Ben’s skin was warm and his body solid, strong, almost trembling. “What do you want? You already had your hands all over me when I was drunk last time.”

“I know.”

“You took advantage of my boyish nature.” He was still trying to make it all a joke.

“Please stop saying it that way. You were after me half that night.”

Something flickered over Ben’s face. The true wavelength of his longing. “Why did I have to work so hard at it if you like me so much?” He looked at Ronny, flushed, then looked away.

“I thought you were making fun of me when you told me what you wanted. I thought you’d tell your friends and stuff and I’d be the Ehringhaus faggot.”

Ben grinned. “You’re already the Ehringhaus faggot.”

“Yeah, but nobody’s got the goods on me.” Ronny kissed Ben’s cheek as tenderly as he knew how, and Ben made a low sound that meant he liked it. “Except you. I didn’t trust you wanting me to do that stuff with you when you were so drunk.”

Ben ran his hand through his hair, scratched his chin. “I could still say this is your fault and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I know.”

“You don’t care?”

“I care. But I can’t do anything about it.”

Ronny settled against Ben again and a moment later felt Ben’s lips on his forehead for a moment. They stayed in that position, quiet.

“This thing with you having a room to yourself could be all right,” Ben said. “Shift over this way, okay? I still want you on me.”

“How long you going to be here?”

Ben shrugged. “Just be still. Okay?” His voice was deeply quiet, resounding from some depth, an exhalation. “This feels good,” he said. “Lying here like this.”

“I could do this for a long time.” Ronny’s voice felt hushed. Ben still had one arm around Ronny and tightened it.

“So what if I ask you now?” Ben was talking into Ronny’s curls.

Ronny raised up on an arm, feeling Ben’s heart beat under the thickness of his chest.

“You know. Ask you to do stuff.”

Ronny closed his eyes, taking a long breath.

“Or what if I just start?” Ben drew Ronny’s face to his. They kissed with their lips just open, sharing their breath. Ronny felt shivers along his skin and tasted Ben’s chewing gum. Ben’s breath caught and he turned his face away for a moment and Ronny rested his cheek against him.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Ben. I don’t try to make you do anything.”

Ben swallowed and reddened, striking his flat palm on the mattress. Maybe he wanted to feel as if he were being coerced. Ronny lay against him, face near his neck, feeling the blood course under the skin. Ronny put his mouth on the place where a vein was pulsing, gently and lightly. Ben was waiting for something. He sighed, stirred, and it seemed okay to do more, so Ronny kissed all along his chin, kissed every part of his face he could reach. Ben’s arm was tight against Ronny’s back, and for a while it was hard to breathe. Ronny kissed Ben’s lips and Ben made a sound and Ronny kissed his ear and touched his tongue to it.