Judson grinned, stretched his arms, shook his shaggy head, looked around. “I don’t know. My best friend, you know. This sweet blond guy. Kind of like a basketball player but not too tall. I liked him a lot.”

“Where is he now?”

“He went to State. I used to see him sometimes.”

“You out to him?”

The beer had given Judson a sleepy cast. He had a tic; one eyelid fluttered from time to time. “No, no, no. He’d probably punch me if I told him.”

“So, did you just like him? Or more?”

“Hard to say. Probably more.”

“Did you have any idea about yourself back then?”

“Yes. I think so.”

“But you dated this girl.” Ronny shook his head. “That’s not very nice.”

Judson blushed. “Well, I wasn’t sure. I mean, I didn’t even know what gay was, you know. I knew I was supposed to like girls.”

You did what you were told. Not something to speak aloud. Ronny sighed, sat back in his chair. There was a thought trying to come back to him, but he pushed it away. Noise, booming voices from the back of the bar near the pool table. They started talking about music and movies; Judson wasn’t a big reader. He ordered a second pitcher. “You mind? I figure we might be here awhile.”

“No, that’s fine.”

“I’m not trying to get you drunk or anything.”

“Really?” Ronny giggled. “But I’m already drunk, sort of.”

They leaned into the table, Ronny ate Judson’s fries, Judson spoke in a nervous monotone, was from Pine Level, the son of a Church of God preacher, mother a cafeteria worker, he had been raised on Bible verses and school leftovers, having a gay son would be a disaster akin to demonic possession. Pray over him to snatch out the devil inside. Like that. He needed to talk, as if he had been stranded on a mountaintop and just returned to people. It made Ronny uneasy to like the guy. This was the thought he was having.

Then, walking past the next table loomed Tate, headed to the back of the bar; followed by Kathy, so pretty and bright; and behind her was Ben. Kathy was looking at Nina, the two of them talking, heads together. Ben walked like he had already been drinking. Shoulders hunched, looking down at the floor. The sight of them together, Kathy and Ben. Ronny shook his head. His heart picked up speed, ricocheted in his ribs. He had planned this? He had hoped for it? Maybe. But he panicked. Not sure what to do. Almost standing up, then quickly sitting down again.