“And do I have this right,” Chef JJ said, “two of your brothers are on the Junior Olympic ski team, two are on the junior national speed skating team, and the youngest is a world-class… What was it?”

“Snowboarder,” Phoenix said. “Yeah, that’s right.”

“What are they putting in the water at your house?” Dieter chuckled.

“And do you ski or skate?” Chef JJ asked.

“Neither.”

“Snowboard?”

“Nope.”

“Because you cook? That’s your thing?”

“Yeah.” One of Phoenix’s eyes twitched.

“And now you want to show them that you’re the national cooking champion, yes?” Dieter said.

Phoenix nodded.

“Okay, Phoenix.” Chef JJ leaned in a little closer. “I don’t want to embarrass you, but I have to ask. What happened to your eyebrow?”

Phoenix’s eye did a double-twitch. “It was just, you know, a joke. My, uh, two of my brothers shaved off half of it while I was sleeping.”

“Big families. So fun,” Dieter said.

“Yeah, it’s great.” Phoenix looked like he wanted to throw something.

Whatever role Phoenix was supposed to play, I felt like they’d just wound him up to play it.

After Phoenix came Gordy, the puppy. They spent the shortest time with him. Basically the only thing I learned was that he was ten, lived in Delaware, and learned to cook because he loved to eat.

Then I was up.

“You’re here. That’s so fabulous,” Chef JJ said in a way that made “fabulous” sound like the scariest three syllables on Earth. “Dieter, did I tell you Tristan’s mother and I worked together?”

I flinched at her use of “Tristan” instead of “Tris” but kept silent.

“Yes, I know,” Dieter said.

And now everybody else did too.

Phoenix and Harper were glaring at me already.

“Is Mom here?” It felt like Chef JJ was speaking especially loudly.

“Uh, yeah. My whole family.”

“Oh, big fun,” Dieter said.

“Can’t wait to see her later. So, Tristan…” Chef JJ paused, and winked at me—was she calling me Tristan just to annoy me? “Tell us a little about yourself.”

“And maybe too, what means ‘Petersville, The Place to Eat,’” Dieter said, pointing at my shirt.

This was it, possibly my only chance to plug Petersville. I took a deep breath. Go slow. Don’t forget anything. “I’m Tris Levin. I’m twelve. And I’m from Petersville, which is in upstate New York, only a short car ride from New York City, Albany, and Boston. It’s a beautiful spot surrounded by mountains and farmland. And Petersville is the best small-town destination for food in the country. You get a real small town feel and top-notch cuisine at The Station House and life-changing doughnuts at my doughnut shop, The Doughnut Stop. There’s also a local cheese maker, local organic popcorn. Plus, tons of scheduled family activities in town.” I’d pointed out to Jeanine that not all of my speech was technically true, but she said we had to fake it till we made it.

“Petersville, huh? Life-changing doughnuts, top-notch cuisine, and beautiful countryside. Sounds intriguing. Maybe we should check it out,” Chef JJ said to Dieter.