“It isn’t possible. I’d be trading in old scars for new. I won’t even take us into account. If I did anything, if you showed you could take it, it would break Steffie’s heart. You know that. She has her dreams. She has some idea of what goes on between us. She has faith in us. She’s watching to see what will happen.”

“She’s watching you, now. She was upset with your remark about grandchildren. Don’t you know that you’re the king? It will be a while before she outgrows you.”

He was thinking of something else.

“Joe? You look so unhappy.”

“You’ll find out why soon enough.”

“What did you say? I couldn’t hear you. Joe?” She moved toward him. “What is it? Are you all right?”

“Look—you heard me on the telephone, didn’t you?”

“Yes. You made several calls.”

“I was working, that’s true. I learned something. There’s one more thing I can do. We. I can’t do it alone. I don’t know what it will lead to, but I have to go with it. I have to see. Karen, I’m asking you to do something for me without knowing why. I want you to trust me. There’s a very good reason why I can’t tell you about it now. You could succeed and I could fail. It could go nowhere. I’ve never asked you for anything like this before and I know how unfair it is. Let me have my way for a few hours—until we’ve made our try.”

She sat back a bit. “We’ve told the truth about her, haven’t we?”

“In what way?”

“You and her. What you did with her.”

“Forget that. Please.”

“I want to. I’m trying to. But look at you. I can’t say it. Look at you.”

“I didn’t sleep with her.”

“And you don’t want to sleep with me now. That’s what I mean.”

“I thought before that we were going to make love. You came out to the living room at the wrong time.”

“The right time,” she said.

“What are we able to do when we’re like this? We should know it by now. Why do we even have to talk about it?”

“You’re right. I should know, you mean.”