“Roberts warned me off. You can blame him.”

She put her head on his chest. He could smell her hair. “We aren’t going to make love,” she said. “It’s becoming difficult even to discuss things.”

“We’re tired,” he said. “You were going to take a shower.”

She began to sit up. “I can’t stop thinking that I’m helpless. I want to help. But this seems to be up to you.”

He wanted to kiss her, but he knew that she would think that he was trying to prove something that he did not really feel. She looked at him.

“I can’t stop my mind from working. I saw her. It hurts, Joe. It hurts terribly.”

“You saw Anne,” he said.

“You and I were separated. I was separated from everything.” She smiled unhappily. “I can’t stop thinking. I know now why you didn’t want to talk to me last night. You’re tired all right.”

“Nothing like that.”

She put her hand on him. “You’re tired.”

“I’m reacting to my wife.”

“Your wife,” she said after a moment. “If we made love now, I wouldn’t use the diaphragm.”

“This isn’t the way you want it.”

“I’m not sure of that.”

“It wouldn’t be right when you thought back on it. We’ll make our try in our own home, our own bed, and cold sober. We’ll know we’re trying. You wouldn’t be afraid to think back on that.”

She kissed him on the mouth. Her skin was warm. “Don’t let it go too long. I’ll get afraid. I will. Joey, I still get scared sometimes. That’s what happened to me Tuesday night. I got afraid of dying.” She put her leg over his body and held him tightly. “I want to cry and I can’t. That’s what happens.”

“When we get home, you and I. You’ll see.” He rocked her. He locked his arms around her chest.

“I’m all right,” she said, pushing away.

“What is it?”

“The gun. It was pressing against my hip. I’m going to take my shower and get into bed. I wouldn’t mind company. No guns. No clothes, either.”

“A watch?”

“I’ll wear whatever is necessary.” She was up. “We’ll do what you say. No thinking. Into the shower, into the bed. You don’t have any hickeys, do you?”

“Of course not, I—”

She pinched his nose, hard. “Of course not. You told her not to make marks. I don’t want to see you, anyway.”

“Are you serious?” He had never thought of hickeys, but obviously she had—once—and it had a blunt, numbing effect on him. He stood up. “Do you want me to wait outside?”

“I was teasing, but I do feel sweaty. I’d rather you didn’t see me—what’s wrong?”

“I think you hurt my nose just so you would have an easier time of confusing me.”