“I didn’t love him. I love you.”

“I know.”

“Do you love me?”

“We’ve known the answer to that for a very long time.”

“Stuck with me,” she said. “It’s a secure feeling for me.”

“I want some changes, Karen. I have to have them.”

“I guess you do. At this moment I feel very sick. It’s like an echo. Nothing like the old stuff will happen again, I know. I’m plain too old. I stink as a wife. That little drip is a better wife in her fingernail.” She sniffed. “There’s something the matter with you, Joe.”

“You’re not talking to me now. Stop it.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve talked this way.”

“I’m still tired of it. I’m tired of you hurting yourself.”

“Sit by me, please. I’d like you near me.” She lay back and watched him. “He was a stupid man. It’s no insurance, is it?”

“No.” He put his hand on her stomach. Slip, no girdle or panties now. Her stomach was flat. She tried to relax under his hand.

“You know me,” she said.

He did not want to talk.

“I want to make love,” she said. “I won’t get much out of it, but I want to. Now. I want to take some chances.” That had a special meaning for them. She turned her head away. “I get afraid, Joe. I’m afraid of death—still. There’s no point in thinking about it. I know that. I’m almost forty and I’m finally getting smart.”

He pushed up her skirt. “Keep talking like that and I’m going to do something cruel.” It meant something, too, but she misunderstood.

“Did you do it with her?”

“No.”

“You did do things.”

He looked into her eyes. She was very frightened. She watched him. “What do you want to hear?” he asked. “I love you. You know that.”

“I feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do.”

“Stop asking questions. Stop worrying. Please. Even now I think I want to go home more than you. We’re both getting whipsawed. We’ll be all right, if we can keep our door closed.”

“Whipsawed?” She touched his sleeve.

“We’ve both heard from Roberts. At least I saw that you did. You’re worried about her, although you shouldn’t be. And I have the case.”

“Roberts is involved in it?”

“I think so.”

“Jerry loved him, I swear.”

Leland rolled onto his back. He stared at the ceiling. Karen got up on her elbow. “I had to say his name,” she said.

“That’s not it. The letters put Roberts very close. His behavior settles him right in the middle. I was willing to bet anything that he broke into MacIver’s office. I had him—I want to get him, put your money on it—but the more you say, the tougher it is to hold him. I want to see all these people in jail. They’ve been hurting everybody.”

“Did you tell the client?”

“Ask me another.”

“Don’t be flip about it, Joe.”