She started to get to her feet. “I only wanted to give you an idea. I wonder about you because it makes what I did more tolerable.” She cleared the table and rinsed out the cups and saucers. “I could insult you now. Shall I add insult to injury?” He waited. With her back to him, she said, “I could do it with you now.”

“I know—but I’m not going to let you.”

“That’s right. That’s what I need more. Talking about it changes it, anyway. See? I know all the tricks. I don’t really want to start up with you. Tonight made me want to do it. I’d start giving you the rights of a husband. I’d want to, but I know I’m not ready. It’s too soon for you, too. What if Anne called you? You’d resent me if you were all tangled up and wanted to see her. Live your life and enjoy yourself.

“I don’t even want to think,” she said. “It’s one day at a time for me. I won’t go to bed with you until I can really let go. I don’t want to plan ways to go further. I don’t want to worry about cheating on you. We have had really good moments. I’m not looking for it to happen all the time—oh, no. I know what to expect from an adult relationship.

“The hell of it is that I always did know. I’ve never been able to do anything about it until now—and maybe not even now. I have to be honest, with you and myself.” She looked over her shoulder. “Listen, if Anne does call you, you make up your own mind. I won’t kid you about the way I feel. I’m not capable of loving a man. If you decide to marry her, you won’t be hurting me.”

“All right.”

“I mean it,” she said.

“I think you do.”

“I’m sorry to have to put you through this.”

“No. It took courage to tell me.” He hesitated. “I want you to call me now if you want to talk to someone.”

“I can’t call you about anything else, though.”

“I know that, too. Karen, you’ll never be able to bullshit me again. That’s what you succeeded in doing tonight. I remember the signs. I’ll know if you go off again. You can’t go back. You have to be honest.”

“You’d divorce me and take Steffie,” she said.

“I think I’d have to.”

She nodded, then looked up. “I’ve been good all the time I’ve been in Manitou.”

“I thought that.”

“I’m making that offer again. I’ll just take care of you if you want that.”

“That’s no good for you.”