“I don’t know the answer yet. I came here. And I waited for you after I ran out. I’m sorry I ran. I’m ashamed of it. Maybe that’s love, too. I don’t know.”

He put his arm around her. “I don’t want you to think about it anymore.”

He opened the door. She looked over his shoulder into the apartment. “Is the coast clear?”

“I wasn’t kidding you. They know you’re here tonight. I had to restrain my mother from buying a cake.”

She stepped in. “Why? I like cake.” She unbuttoned her coat. “You look normal. On the way over I thought of you with a pipe and smoking jacket. I couldn’t help it, I laughed aloud. People turned around and stared.”

“Okay, what would you like to see first? You have to be shown around.”

“Your room, of course. I’ve never been in a man’s bedroom, I want you to know.”

“I don’t mind the advertising, but keep the false claims to a minimum. I’ll find out if you’re lying or not.”

“The hell you will.”

He had been trying to tease her. “Just for you, I didn’t touch a thing. When I was a kid I knew another kid who tacked headlines and news pictures to the wall. I did it, too, for a while. Anyway, I thought it was smart. They’re still there.”

She wasn’t listening. He watched her looking at all the junk of his childhood. He realized that there seemed to be no phase that he had not gone through. She appeared to like what she saw, but he could not help being afraid that she was trying to remember it for her own amusement later when she was alone.

His father was on the night tour and his mother had gone up to Northport to stay with his aunt. For the first time this year she had picked a Wednesday, the one night when both Joe and Karen were free. It had seemed that the days would never pass. They had whispered about being alone, but when he was honest with himself, he saw it as part of their lovemaking and not the promise of more.

“I wish I had this,” Karen said.

“You will. You’ll have your daughter’s, too.”

“Thank you for saying that. I want a family with all the other things. I don’t know what I want—that’s the truth.”

“There are very few people who can do what you’re doing. Remember that.”

“Put a job in front of me and I’ll do it, whether I have any feeling for it or not. I’m still in college, so I’m preparing myself, but when I get out I know I’ll just take the best job I can find. It won’t matter. I want to know myself better than that.”