As Kate drove Becky back to the campsite, the dreaded new-car smell began to inveigle its way into Becky’s system again.

‘I feel sickie, Mummy,’ she said.

Kate glanced anxiously backwards. ‘It’s only two minutes, Becky. Can you hold on?’

Becky nodded bravely, and Kate continued driving but, just as she turned off the main road into the campsite, she heard the sound of retching. Quickly, she pulled over to the side of the road. She leapt out of the car and went to Becky’s door, opening it to help her daughter, dreading the mess in the hire car she was responsible for. To her amazement, the car was clean, and Becky was looking at her wide-eyed, her mouth open and chin pushed forward. Kate quickly unbuckled her and led her out of the car to the verge, whereby Becky tipped her mouth forward and the vomit fell onto the grass at the side of the path.

‘Well done!’ said Kate, rubbing her back. ‘You’re so good. I can’t believe it didn’t go in the car!’

Becky looked proud. ‘I made a cup, Mummy, like this,’ she said and demonstrated the way she’d pushed her jaw forward. ‘And now,’ she said delightedly, looking at the sick she’d tipped onto the ground, ‘it’s a teapot!’

Kate felt a rush of love for her and she burst out laughing, until tears were streaming down her face.

‘You’re the best, Becky.’ She enveloped her in a hug, burying her face in her hair and smelling its summer scent. ‘So clever.’

‘You’re clever too, Mummy,’ said Becky, nodding earnestly, scouring Kate’s eyes to make sure her mum understood the reassurance she was pressing on her. ‘I didn’t like that lady in the cafe.’

Kate felt her heart pinch. It was amazing what children picked up on. She held Becky tighter and for a split second all she could think about was what a failure she was, how her daughter deserved better. She pushed the thoughts away and looked Becky in the eye. ‘I’m having the best holiday ever.’

‘Me too, Mum!’

A week after they returned, Kate got back from work to find a letter lying on the doormat. With a mix of terror and excitement she recognized the handwriting on the envelope as her mother’s. Her heart beat furiously in a moment of terrible optimism. With trembling hands, she opened it. Inside was a pamphlet. Frowning, she couldn’t work out what it was at first and then, in horror, she dropped it. It fell onto the floor with a soft pap.

Her mother had sent her a funeral service. And on the front was her father’s name.

Kate was trying to breathe but the pain in her chest was constricting her lungs.

She was completely on her own now. She’d always secretly hoped she’d see her dad again. That one day, there might be a family reconciliation, her mother would mellow as she, Kate, became an adult. She realized all that had been a fantasy.