Once again, she’d found herself doing the unthinkable, realizing it long after the event and unable to undo it. It worried her that she had become so reckless, that she didn’t know where her own boundaries lay anymore. She had a sudden overwhelming sense of wanting this all to end. To have the relief of a finish line.

Maybe they were having a great time.

Maybe Iris would perform a miracle.

‘What time is it?’ asked Iris as she walked back into the hotel later that night after being dropped off by Magic.

‘Eleven thirty!’ admonished Kate. ‘I was about to jump in a cab and come and find you.’ It was true: she’d come into the lobby an hour ago and had peered into the darkness beyond the hotel several times, looking hopefully for the lights of a car.

‘Eleven thirty?’ said Iris, astounded. ‘Never!’ She squinted at her watch, but unable to see properly, got her glasses out of her handbag. ‘Is it really eleven thirty? Good Lord! The time’s flown by.’

‘You enjoyed yourself, then?’

‘Oh, Kate, I did. He’s such a good conversationalist.’

‘What did you talk about?’ Kate couldn’t keep the hope from her voice.

Iris’s face fell. ‘I’m sorry. I tried, I really did, but he just said the same thing and then it got a bit awkward and I had to apologize and—’ She saw Kate’s face. ‘I feel like I’ve let you down.’

‘Don’t be daft. Don’t think that.’ Kate squeezed her friend’s hand tight.

‘I’m suddenly very tired. Would you take me up to my room?’

Kate smiled. ‘Of course.’

She accompanied Iris upstairs, waited while she went to the bathroom, then saw she got into bed. Iris closed her eyes and so Kate turned the light off at the doorway into her own room.

‘Night,’ she called into the dark.

‘Goodnight, Kate,’ said Iris.

Kate slipped into her room, cleaned her teeth then got under the sheets. She lay there for a while, not really thinking or planning, just letting the disappointment and the emptiness wash over her.

FIFTY-SEVEN

‘Errol’s invited us fishing,’ said Iris, placing her linen napkin on her knee. They were sitting outside enjoying a late breakfast. Iris cut a piece from her sliced mango and ate it delicately.

‘Fishing?’

‘Yes, Errol wants to take us. Both of us.’

‘When?’

‘Tomorrow. He’s got a half-day. He wants to pick us up in his car, drive to the beach and we’ll go out in his boat.’

‘But I don’t know how to fish.’

Iris smiled. ‘I’m sure it doesn’t matter.’ She continued to eat her breakfast leisurely.

Kate watched her, envious of how Iris was adapting to this island’s way of life. Relaxed. Stress-free. Of course it didn’t matter if she knew how to fish or not. She cut a piece of fresh pineapple on her plate. Put it in her mouth. Chewed it. Relax. Enjoy. Take in the indescribably beautiful beach just a few metres from your table. She swallowed hard. Took a sip of water to stop the coughing.