‘Someone has to change the rules,’ said Kate.

She saw him stiffen. ‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘I know that, you know that but, well, you’ve got to think of yourself, you can’t fight ’em . . .’

‘Why not?’

He looked at her worriedly. ‘Kate, you’ve been through so much these last few months . . . maybe . . . maybe you just need to take a break from it all.’

‘I can’t. I can’t just let her die and roll over when they tell me it was something unavoidable. It was avoidable, Tim. I’ve lost her and if I agree with what they say, then I’m as bad as them. My job was to protect her – is to protect her.’

He remained silent and she knew he disagreed. Thought she was acting irrationally. And in a way he was right. On the worktop was a plate with a just-made bacon sandwich. He sliced it and handed it to her. She looked around for another.

‘Are you not having one?’

He hesitated, then looked at his watch, and the panicked feeling she’d had before came back.

‘Tim . . . I know the last few months have been hard. Hard on you, too. We’d only just met when Becky died . . . and you’ve been the one thing that’s kept me going.’ She smiled quickly. ‘I didn’t mean to say that – I mean, it’s true, but I will be OK.’ She paused. ‘If you want to go. If it’s all too much for you . . .’

He looked at her, mouth slightly agape. ‘I need to call the depot. Check in about my shifts,’ he said by way of an explanation for glancing at his watch.

Her mouth twitched. A smile. ‘Sure?’

He pulled her to him. ‘Of course I am, you wally. And if you want to pursue this . . . then I’m right behind you.’

She scoured his eyes. ‘Really?’

‘Abso-blooming-lutely . . .’ he said, and relief flooded through her. Despite what she’d said, she didn’t think she could be alone. In fact, he’d kept her afloat the last few months when she’d been overwhelmed with a sense of abandonment and total futility. Everything in her life up to that point had been about Becky, everything she’d done for years had been for Becky, in order to give her the chances that she herself hadn’t had in life, and in one night her purpose had vanished. If Tim hadn’t been with her in the mornings, he’d called her to make sure she was OK, that she’d got out of bed, got dressed. He’d given her errands, which had sometimes transpired to be unnecessary ones. And when she really couldn’t face it, he’d held her, until the darkness let go of her again.

She took the bacon sandwich and wrapped it in some foil.

‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m late for work.’

His mouth dropped. ‘You’re working?’

She nodded.

‘But I was going to take the day off – to, you know—’