“What?” I looked up to see a tall, skinny boy with hair that looked like he put effort into. Effort that paid off.

“You’re sitting here all alone.” He gestured toward my bench.

“I, um, I’m just shy.” I twisted the tab of the soda can around. It was partially true. Sure, I could speak in front of hundreds at a Model UN conference, no problem, and didn’t even blink before speaking up in class. But a party—a party with alcohol and kids who went to parties a lot... That was a bit different.

He sat down next to me. “I can be shy sometimes too.”

I nodded and kept my eyes on the fire.

“You got a name?”

I smiled and turned to him. “Sara,” I said. “With no h.”

He looked at me, confused.

“At the end,” I clarified.

“Ahhh.” He said. “I’m Chris Miller. There is an h.”

“Nice to meet you.” I looked back to the fire.

“Well, Sara without an h, would you like some?” He held out a can of Sprite.

“Is there...um...?” I looked at him.

“...booze?”

“Yeah.” I blushed.

He grinned, and I noticed his smile was kind of crooked. “Yeah.”

I pursed my lips.

“If you don’t want—”

I grabbed the can from him, bringing it to my lips and taking the smallest sip possible.

“So what’s your favorite subject in school?” I said as I handed it back.

We talked until the end of the party, and I kept taking sips of vodka Sprite so small that I hoped they didn’t count any more than church wine.

When I got home, I had a Facebook friend request from Chris Miller. I accepted it, and got a message within a minute.

Glad you told me there was no h. Otherwise I wouldn’t have found you.

I could see the reflection of my smile on the screen as I typed my reply.

Facebook turned to iMessage and summer turned to fall. We were talking every day, and the texts were getting flirtier and flirtier.

One night, hours into clever back-and-forths, he messaged damn I wish we went to the same school so we could hang out. A week later he said homecoming is coming up and I don’t know who to ask.

Both times I stared at the text until it was burned into my brain, but was too nervous to push further, to say that we could hang out anyway, or that he could invite me.

I was hoping that if I was just funny enough over text or pretty enough on Snapchat, he would figure it out himself. I thought we really had something, or at least were building to something.

A few weeks into school, I had lunch at the mall with Claire.