“Thank you for tonight. I’ll never forget it. This month has been the most wonderful time of my life.” She waited a second, as though she expected him to speak. The fact that he could still breathe surprised him. Speaking was beyond him. “Goodbye, Seth.”

Once the front door clicked shut, the heartache he’d feared so much shattered him. He reached for the wall next to him, and slid down to the floor as the pain crashed into him again and again with undiminishing force.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Tara functioned. She went to work, brewed her beer, tended the bar, and ate and slept. Well, she was being rather generous with the terms ate and slept. She tried to eat, but mostly pushed her food around the plate. And sleep only came to her in angry, dark snippets. But she was doing exceptionally well considering she’d forgotten how to live.

Aubrey was home, but wasn’t due back at work until the following Monday. Other than a quick hello on the phone, Tara hadn’t talked to her. And she couldn’t visit her at her house because Seth was there. He was still close by. That small comfort kept her sane.

She spent most of her time trying to forget Seth’s tender expression—so full of awe and gratitude—when he told her he loved her. No one had ever looked at her as though her existence was the greatest gift in the world. She had to forget all of it. If she let his love sink into her heart, there was no telling what she might do.

She also struggled to not obsess over their one remaining date. It made no sense since she was the one who called everything off, but she’d been greedily guarding the time she had left with him. Now she would never have her last date with him. The deal was to have four dates and to not fall in love, dammit. But what would having one more date accomplish anyway? It would only create more memories to haunt her when he was gone.

Then she would cry without pondering why she felt so wretched. Tara was petrified of thinking about the why. Why her heart burst into fireworks when Seth told her he loved her. Why she was so angry with him. She had broken the man’s heart. He did nothing wrong but love her. But … that was it. Loving her was wrong. He promised he wouldn’t fall in love with her.

Eventually, she would feel hollowed out enough for the tears to stop. And she could return to functioning. Brew, bartend, and pretend to eat and sleep. Her family was watching her with increasing concern, but she couldn’t worry about that. She was holding tight to the string that was keeping the stitches of her life together. One slipup, and she would unravel and fall apart piece by piece.

She was doing the bartending part of functioning tonight. The place was crowded, and she welcomed the noise and bustle. It made forgetting a bit easier, and thinking a bit harder. The perfect combination.