It had been so long since he had wanted something. Really wanted it. He’d been content with safe. With superficial success and satisfaction. But the thought of going back to that life made him feel hollow. The happiness he’d felt in the last few weeks with Tara ruined him for anything less than real.

He had let something that happened during college impact his life choices for the last seven years. Because of one broken heart, he’d sworn off love. And he’d let the pain of that heartbreak lead him to give up his art. His dream. How could he not have realized how foolish that was? Sure, he’d worn his heart on his sleeve and allowed himself to love Jessica with all his loneliness and desperation. But had it even really been love? Or had he been so desperate for someone to belong to that he’d glommed onto her like she was his lifeline?

He was nineteen back then. He knew nothing. The last few years should’ve been spent on figuring out what he wanted out of life instead of closing himself off to it. Well, that was going to change, starting now. There was so much to explore and learn about himself and who he wanted to be. But he was already certain of one thing. He didn’t want to live the rest of his life without Tara in it.

Seth didn’t fully understand what was happening between them, but he wanted to explore it further. She made him feel so alive, and he hadn’t known happiness greater than when he made her laugh. He wanted to make her happy. He wanted her to know that she was an amazing person and she could do anything she wanted with her life. She was the most confident and driven person he knew, but there was a vulnerability to her that he ached to protect.

The bustle of the busy bakery receded into the background, and an acute stillness overcame him. Sunlight seemed to bloom inside him and hope filled him to the brim. He was going to reclaim his life, and allow himself to live to the fullest. The thought of returning to art still frightened him, but if his soul commanded him to create again, he wouldn’t fight it. He would throw himself in headfirst as he used to. Art wasn’t about being safe and secure. It was about taking risks and facing the fear of uncertainty. It was life and it was beautiful. And maybe he would allow himself to love again. He wasn’t sure he had the choice anymore. He was already halfway in love with Tara. The realization shocked him, and fear—fierce and overwhelming—rose inside him again.

Like an unforeseen thunderstorm, dark clouds blew in to hide the light and hope inside him. Knowing that he wanted her didn’t mean Tara felt the same way. What would she think of his epiphany? Could he be just another out-of-towner to her? Someone briefly passing through her life? That didn’t ring true. She cared about him. But Tara wouldn’t sleep with someone she didn’t care about. Maybe she cared about all her hookup buddies.