It was no good. Chubs would rather not contact his parents at all than grant a stranger access to his only means of safely communicating with them.

“Though,” Clancy said after a moment, sitting down next to me and kicking his legs up on the desk. “There is something that could persuade me.”

I couldn’t look at him.

“Fifteen minutes, Ruby. You teach me.”

What could I possibly know that he didn’t?

“Do you think you could walk me through how you erase someone’s memory? I know it’s not something you’re proud of, and I know it’s caused you a lot of pain in the past, but it seems like a useful trick, and I’d be interested to learn it.”

“Well…I guess?” I said. Like I could deny him after all that he had done for me. But it wasn’t something I knew how to teach. I’d barely managed to figure it out for myself.

“I think understanding how you do it will also help me figure out how to prevent you from accidentally doing it again. Sound good?”

That sounded great, actually.

“If you’d let me,” he continued, “I’d like to walk through your memories and see if I can find any clues. I just want to confirm a suspicion I have.”

I don’t think he expected the request to give me pause, but it did. He had been in my head multiple times, seeing things I’d never spoken about to anyone. But I’d been able to keep him from seeing the things that really mattered, the dreams I wanted to protect.

I kept thinking about what Liam had said before, when he told me about his sister. Those memories are mine.

But if I wanted a future with my family—with Liam—then I had to relinquish my control. I had to let Clancy in if it meant I could avoid the same thing happening in the future.

You can trust him, said the same voice at the back of my mind. He’s your friend. He would never overstep.

“Okay,” I said. “But only those, and, afterward, Charles gets to use your computer.”

“Deal.”

Clancy knelt in front of me, hands cupping my jaw, fingers weaving through my hair. I tried not to squirm at his proximity and his assumption that I would be fine with it. We’d sat this close before, but somehow this felt different.

“Wait,” I said, sitting back. “I told Liam and the others I’d meet with them about something. Can we maybe do this later? Or even tomorrow?”

“It’ll only take a second,” Clancy promised, his voice soothing and low. “Just close your eyes and think about the morning you woke up on your tenth birthday.”

Come on, that same voice said. Come on, Ruby.…

I swallowed hard and did as he asked, imagining myself back in my old room, with its blue walls and enormous window. Bit by bit, the room reassembled itself. Blank walls bloomed with cross-stitch samplers Grams had sewn, pictures of my parents, and a map of D.C.’s metro system. I could see all six of the stuffed animals I slept with, on the floor next to my bright blue comforter. Even things I had completely forgotten—the lamp on my small desk, the way the middle shelf of my bookcase sagged—suddenly came back into clear focus.