‘I have thoughts sometimes to kill him even today. I can’t explain the violence I feel towards him. But perhaps I should wait and watch what this woman will do next. Perhaps there is a lot I can do which I am not doing. I need your help to sort this out’ She bowed and folded her hands in front of Rajjo mockingly. Rajjo wanted to run and hide. She wanted shelter from these accusations. She may have guided her to her past, but this woman could burn her future. She wanted to trap her, but Upasana had cornered her. Who was the cat amongst the pigeons?

‘Let it pass…It will all work out for the best,’ whispered Rajjo in a shaky voice.

‘I will remember your kind, calm and clear voice. I will carry it in my heart. I believe you are a woman too and you completely understand my plight, like you are a part of it.’ Rajjo turned her face away.

Upasana knew coming here was the best decision she had taken in a long long time. It felt great. It felt like she had chewed her up and spat her out in her own little religious room. With a victorious smile she took her leave, leaving behind a guilt that smelt like an expensive perfume, a scent that entered every nook and corner and every crease in Rajjo’s room, her mouth and her soul.

Rajjo was travelling between her ashrams around the Gujarat belt. This was the third she had visited in the last two month. This was 36 km southwest of Ahmedabad, near a village.

The ashram sat behind zealously guarded perimeter walls, was a green oasis of peepul, neem and banyan trees growing around the main building. The walls of the buildings were adorned with larger-than-life images of Durga and excerpts from her teaching. The symbolism of Lord Shani could be seen with his idol placed in the middle of the reception areas, bedecked with oil and flowers. Nearby, the Sabarmati river quietly flowed, passing the godly ashram and devotees sitting around in meditation.

Rajjo travelled from one ashram to the other looking for peace of mind. Nothing made sense anymore. Something had changed the night she saw angels and lovers under the starlit sky and her heart moved in cosmic circles. The pirouettes she took wound her up in silken threads of love. The beautiful gardens did not soothe her. The chanting millions did not drown her sorrow. Her empire was not enough to hold her back from meeting Harsh. After her meeting with Upasana, Rajjo knew the wise thing was to walk away, but then who said she was wise. Wisdom came at a price and Rajjo was not ready to pay.