For once she wanted to believe in her own abilities. It was ironic, she had earned her power by selling a promise to her thousands of devotees that she could remove impediments by Lord Shani through her divine guidance. But when it came to her own life it was a losing battle. Soon after, Rajjo could hear the chanting of Sanskrit shlokas. It was a sign that they were expecting her on stage. As Rajjo climbed down the circular stairs, her face didn’t give away any of the tension she was feeling. She was getting into the skin of Durga.

The lights were dimmed in the main hall, so the devotees could soak in the spiritual experience. Rajjo made her way to a smaller room. She sat there in her characteristic black robes without any makeup. Her mind wavered, a thought flashed, she did not want to do this session today. Her stomach churned. The static in her dead ear left an aftertaste of stale garlic on her tongue. A mass of resentment floated around. Quick to read her own bodily reaction, Rajjo knew her visitor or seeker was no ordinary person. Perhaps she should send them away. Curiosity trumped over caution as Rajjo readied to meet her patron.

Upasana was summoned into the small intimate room. The lighting was deliberately low, incense and flowers adorned the Gods placed in one corner. In the middle of the room sat Rajjo, focusing on her breath. A few of her coterie members sat on a couch placed unobtrusively next to a wall. Upasana counted five people sitting in the background and a devotee sitting in front of Durga. She squeezed herself in the room and found a low stool to sit on. She was quiet as a mouse, lest she disturb the concentration in the room. Upasana wanted to chuckle aloud. She bit her lip. These untimely chuckles besieged her when she was nervous or a little excited. Unlikely places like a funeral meeting was also a place where this affliction hit her. With an effort she bit her lip harder and thought of painful things in her life to get rid of that urge to laugh. It all seemed like a theatrical mini set as if she was in a role-play. Upasana focused back to her immediate surroundings and forced herself to look at Rajjo.