Kesar waited his turn to get his slip for the transportation he ewas to avail that would take him for the Godwoman’s darshan. A lot of families, noisy wives, quiet husbands, ill-mannered children, lost elders queued up. Kesar, along with his letter, was one of them. Once his turn came at the ticket window, the administrator asked him in a bored voice, ‘Will you be staying the night?’ Kesar shook his head in the negative. The fee was calculated. He had to shell out two hundred rupees to enter the premises. The queue was long. Another two hundred for a subsidized family meal that was available at the darshan ground itself. The pamphlet shoved in his hand boasted of a tie-up with burger joints and fast-food centres. Another three hundred and twenty rupees for the special sermon – the rate card said two hundred and fifty for the special arti and special audience with Chhoti Ma. An all-inclusive package of seven hundred per person was also available. Kesar stared at the pamphlet with a glazed expression and did not want any of the packages. The irritated guy at the ticket window dismissed him and beckoned to the next customer.

Kesar settled into the van packed with families. Personal vehicles were not allowed and a fancy advertisement playing out on a small screen in the van engaged them. Durga was addressing them here as well. The audio-visual captured the teachings of the Godwoman.

The smoky smell trapped in the leathery seats of the Innova suffocated Kesar. Minutes after he rolled down the windows, the smell of cigarettes from the old leathery seats stayed with him. He was trying to find Rajjo’s face in this Godwoman, but the closer he got to her, the harder it became.

Kesar closed his eyes and waited to reach the destination. The car trailed on for another twenty minutes, and hit the outskirts of the city before nearing the ashram. The complex had a twenty-feet wall all around for security. A public address system was constantly churning out promotions and messages across the ashram.

As the van entered the compound, the atmosphere was scenic yet charged. Lush green vegetation, trees and plants soothed the eyes. The compound milled with people and twinkling fairy lights lit up every tree branch. Birthday greetings for Guru Maa Durga fluttered in the slight breeze. Her lifesize cut-outs stared at every devotee. Kesar felt he was being watched by Rajjo every step of the way. He was a non-believer. He was guilty. But he appreciated the business model. He hoped she read the appreciation in his head in case she had the powers they claimed she did.

As he got off and stretched his legs, he was ushered inside the foyer. Sepia flashes of Rajjo smiling, Kesar running after her in the market street barefoot, a battered Rajjo leaving him and going away rose unexpectedly and left him rooted to the spot.