‘You will need to find your people. You need them now.’

In the afternoon, Durga was packed off to a small ashram nearby. However, the sermon in Dhaliwal was granted.

Bidding her friends adieu, Rajjo set off, knowing only too well that she needed to bring in a crowd in her first sermon, or else she was not going to make it. Raahat had been allowed to accompany her as Rani Maa wanted him out as well. Raahat was elated. Kuljeet saw them off with a heavy heart and Arjan with a prayer.

‘Asha told me to stay back and ask for forgiveness, as you were not going to make it as Rani Maa was having a sermon the same day as you!’ Raahat whispered to Rajjo as they travelled in the rickety scooter.

‘We kick her ass, we upstage her.’

‘You are out of your mind. You are going to take on Rani Maa alone? With me – a seventeen-year-old pimply associate in love with Asha who is thirty-one years and twelve-days old!?’

‘Yes!’

They spent the rest of the trip in silence, eating the dust and the road, mud and the wind, hope and despair all the way to a small nondescript ashram that was their destination.

March 1993

With a light drizzle and gentle breeze, March had announced its arrival. It was four a.m. as Rajjo walked through the fields. She’d not slept a wink the whole night. Finally, giving up on sleep, Rajjo took a bath chanting the verses of Lord Shani. Not that she believed in them, but she wanted the people to believe that she believed in them.

She walked through the fields with her hair falling to her waist, dripping wet. Her body glistened with oil. The drizzle sprayed her body, coming through the clouds, connecting her to the vaults of heaven. Wind whispered in her ears. Today was the day when she was going to cross over from Rajjo to Guru Maa Durga.

As she walked through the luxurious green meadows, bathed in the salmon pre-dawn light, she chanted the verses as loudly as she could for there was no one in the vicinity to hear her, to see her angst or her faults. She had to perform in front of an audience today.

She continued the walk towards the small Shani temple situated on the far side of the fields. She walked barefoot, crossing the lush golden farmland of wheat.

As she reached the little temple, dawn broke. Diaphanous rays pierced the tangerine sky. Flocks of bird flew overhead. The smell of the meadows was overwhelming, reminding Rajjo of her carefree days with her sisters. She wanted to bury herself in the fields right here, but before that she had to go back and don the mantle of Durga today.