But I said nothing as I sat there, enjoying the simple feel of Casteel’s hand stroking my hair. I would’ve enjoyed his touch even more if I hadn’t realized there was an entirely different way to look at this. I had no idea how to rule, but I could learn. I would have Casteel at my side, and who would be a better teacher? Governing people did not necessarily equate to controlling them. It could mean protecting them, just as I knew Casteel would—like I knew his parents had done to the best of their ability. How they may or may not feel about me didn’t change the fact that they cared for their people. That they were nothing like the Royals of Solis. That kind of responsibility was frightening, but it could also be an honor. I had no thirst for power, but maybe that was the key to being a good leader? I wasn’t sure. But I knew I had great ambitions. I wanted to free the people of Solis from the tyranny of the Ascended, and what could be more ambitious than that? But how could I achieve that when I refused to bear the burden of a Crown? Who knew what kind of influence Casteel and I would be able to wield regarding Solis if we were forced to abandon Atlantia, leaving it to be ruled by someone who could have very different intentions when it came to Solis and the Ascended? Someone who may never see Ian as anything but a vampry. And maybe that was all that Ian was now. Possibly even Tawny. I didn’t know, but what if my brother was different? What if other Ascended could change like Casteel had said a few had? What would happen if someone took the throne and declared war against them? I didn’t know, but freedom was the choice. It was in the way I chose to live my life. And what kind of freedom would there be if I was the reason Casteel had to leave his people? His family?

That kind of knowledge carried with it a different type of cage, didn’t it? Just like fear was another prison, and I was…

“I’m afraid,” I admitted quietly as I stared at the sun-drenched ivy beyond the open terrace door. “I’m afraid of saying yes.”

Casteel’s hand stilled on my back. “Why?”

“I don’t know how to be a Queen. I know I can learn, but do the people of Atlantia have the patience for that? The luxury of waiting for me to gain the same kind of experience as you? And we don’t even know what I am. Has Atlantia ever had a Queen that was possibly neither mortal nor Atlantian nor deity? You don’t have to answer that. I already know it’s a no. And what if I’m a terrible Queen?” I asked. “What if I fail at that?”

“First and foremost, you won’t be a terrible Queen, Poppy.”

“You have to say that,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Because you’re my husband, and because you’re afraid I’ll stab you if you say otherwise.”