“What were you two escaping?” I asked. He’d never expounded on that.

“Malik and I stumbled into many conversations.” A wry grin formed. “Ones that were probably more like arguments between our mother and father. My parents love each other fiercely and have always had the same goal in mind—to provide a better life for all who call Atlantia their home. To make sure that everyone is safe and well cared for. But their methods of achieving that goal don’t always line up.”

I thought about that. “Ruling a kingdom and actually wanting what is best for the people you’re responsible for cannot be easy.”

“No, it’s not,” he agreed. “My father has always had more of an aggressive mentality toward achieving that goal.”

One of his father’s more aggressive ideas was to send me back to the Queen of Solis in pieces. “And your mother truly doesn’t have the same ideology?”

“I think my mother has seen enough war to last her four lifetimes,” he said. “Even when Malik and I were both too young to fully understand the problems Atlantia faced with the ever-decreasing land and the threat of Solis just beyond the Skotos Mountains, we could feel the heaviness that sat on our father’s shoulders, and the sadness that wore on our mother. She is an incredibly strong woman. Just like you. But she worries greatly for the people, and some days, the sadness overshadows the hope.”

“Do you know if your mother loved Malec?” I asked. According to Casteel, it was rare for Atlantians to marry without love between the two, but his mother’s marriage to the original King didn’t sound like it had been a happy one. Part of me hoped she didn’t love him, considering how the marriage had turned out. But she’d given her son a name so strikingly similar to her first husband’s that I had to wonder.

Casteel appeared to think it over. “She never really talked about him. Malik and I used to think it was out of respect for our father, but he isn’t the type to be affected by another who is no longer a part of her life. I think she loved him, Malec, and as crazy as this will sound, I think Malec loved her, too.”

Surprise shuttled through me. “But he had numerous affairs, right? And didn’t you say it was rumored that he and Isbeth were heartmates?”

Casteel nodded as he twisted a strand of my hair between his fingers. “I think Malec was in love with being in love, and he was constantly chasing that feeling instead of nourishing what he already had.” He dragged his thumb over the hair he held. “If the rumor of Malec and Isbeth being heartmates is true, it could’ve been the first time he stopped searching and paid attention to what was in front of him.”

My brows knitted. “All of that sounds incredibly sad and also hopeful. I mean, that if your mother did love Malec, she was still able to find love again. To open herself like that once more. I don’t know…” I held the journal close to my chest. “I don’t know if I could do that.”