‘You have to,’ she said, her voice stern. ‘You can’t stay up here feeling sorry for yourself, Rose. You’re a mother. That’s the greatest gift. You’ve cleansed the world of one evil man. It’s a shame we can’t do the same with the others.’ She laughed then to show she was joking but something in her eyes made me think if I suddenly agreed she would do it. Two thirty-something vigilantes.

‘I haven’t got the stomach for it,’ I said, trying to force a chuckle.

She smoothed the hair back from my face tenderly. ‘I know you haven’t. You’re too sweet. Too kind.’ She kissed my forehead.

‘Will you stay with me tonight?’ I asked. ‘I don’t want to be alone.’

‘Of course.’ She climbed into bed with me, fully clothed, pulling the duvet over us both, propped up by pillows. I could feel her socked feet against my bare legs. I sipped my tea, the whisky warm as it travelled down my throat.

‘Every time I close my eyes I can see his face.’

‘I know,’ she soothed.

‘I just want those images to go away.’

‘They will.’

‘Really?’ I turned to assess her. ‘You seem to know a lot about it.’ I hesitated. I needed to ask her. But I was terrified of the answer. What would I do if Neil was right?

I took her hand in mine, her bones fine underneath my fingers. You and she were the only two people I loved in the whole world. ‘Please just tell me the truth. I can’t bear lies. No more lies. But I need to know. Was Neil right? Are you Jean Burdon?’

She looked at me for the longest time, her pupils massive in the fading light, obscuring most of her iris. Just when I thought she wasn’t going to answer, she said, ‘Would you still love me, Rose?’

Would I? I had you to think about. Maybe if I hadn’t just killed a man I might have kicked her out there and then.

‘I need to know the truth.’

Her eyes filled with tears. ‘I didn’t mean to do it,’ she said, in such a small voice that I had to strain to hear her. ‘It was an accident. I was ten years old. My childhood – it wasn’t good, Rose. But I’ve never hurt anyone else. You need to believe me.’

I stared at her. She’d been a child. I couldn’t imagine her hurting anyone now. I was the one who had killed Neil after all. And I was so in love with her I would have believed anything she told me.