So then I described the accident—what I remembered. He held my hand the whole time, and when I got to the part about crawling onto the shore and simply waiting to freeze to death, I felt his grip tighten and saw his jaw clench.

“I’m sorry, Margot,” he said breathlessly when I had finished. “It’s terrible. I’m so sorry.”

I nodded. I couldn’t say It’s okay because it wasn’t okay. It would probably never be okay.

But it was better . . . because he was there.

He leaned over and gently kissed my forehead.

In a weird way, I was happy to have this conversation. Happy to return to familiar territory. Sadness about my family was like a well-fitting old sweater. I knew how to wrap myself in it.

“Is Agatha okay?” I asked. “Can you check on her and make sure she’s back in bed?”

“Yeah, of course,” he said. He got up and went out to the big room, then returned a few seconds later. “She’s fine.”

“Okay, good.”

“It’s so sweet,” he said. “How you look out for her.”

“She came to help me,” I said. “So it goes both ways.”

His smile was weirdly uneasy. “I think . . . I’m not a good brother.”

“Barrett, there’s a limit to what a person can do. You have school, you have—”

“No,” he said. “I mean, I could leave school—maybe I should leave school—but even before this, I never connected with her. We were more like acquaintances. I thought she was annoying. Shallow.”

I didn’t interrupt him. It seemed like there was more he needed to say.

“And now I’m stealing her inheritance,” he said. “Mom is acting like it’s all decided.”

“Well, she can’t exactly run this place the way she is.”

“She was never going to run it,” he said. “And Mom knew that. Sometimes I think Mom is relieved Agatha got sick, because it keeps her from having to break tradition.”

That was a horrific idea.

“Not happy,” he said quickly. “But relieved.”

“Right,” I said.

“But I don’t want to live here, either.” He spoke the words as if they left a bitter taste in his mouth. “I’m not going to spend my life trapped here.” He looked at me. “Dad feels the same way. But he can’t do anything, since Agatha’s so sick. They used to argue about it. He wanted to move to Chicago. Or at least into town.”

I imagined them buying a regular house somewhere more ordinary. Someplace I could get outside and walk around and see other people. It seemed too good to be true.